Fragments of a man so broken
by me.fergie
Summary: While Ryan is still trying to handle and get over what has happened to him, a serial killer is on the loose killing young men in Miami. How much can Ryan handle? Rated M for violence mostly. More information in AN Chapter One. RyanOC friendship. COMPLETE
1. Not any better

And again a new story. That's all for you guys, whose reviews make me happier than I can tell...

**Warning: There's gonna be a lot of mutilated bodies, references to child abuse, torture and homosexuality in this story. That's why the high rating. If you are offended by any of those, you might not wanna read this, because I don't want any homophobic comments or anything.... This story is not gonna be slash between any main characters, so don't worry about that.** Okay, that's it for the warning.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CSI Miami, nor do I own any of its characters. I only own my OC Nicole Ferguson. This story is set post 7.20, but before the season finale.

The title of this Fiction is an extract from Christina Aguilera's song "Mercy on me". I don't own the music ot the lyrics.

Now read and enjoy, and if you feel like it, please review.

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**Chapter 1: Not any better...  
**

„_Go to hell!!!!" Ryan screamed__. The Russian punched him. Again and again and again. Ryan couldn't even take a breath between all those punches. And then, the Russian asked him if he would help. He said no. The Russian continued. He walked around the table and picked something up from it…_

"No!! No, please not!!!!" Ryan screamed, opening his eyes. He was greeted with darkness. It took him a while to realize he wasn't in the Russians' hands anymore, but at home, in his bed. His erratic breathing calmed down after a few minutes, and he wiped the sweat off his forehead. His radio alarm told him it was 3 AM. He shook his head. 2 hours. He had slept for two hours only. And he knew from experience that even if he cuddled into his sheets again, he would not find sleep again this night. He sighed, got up and walked to his bathroom. 2 weeks… 2 weeks ago he had been tortured by the Russian. And during these two weeks, he had caught like… 3 hours sleep a night. If he had been lucky. There had also been nights he hadn't slept at all. Nobody had told him to see a shrink, so he hadn't done it. Right now, he wondered if his team mates even cared about his health and sanity. Delko had been told to see a shrink. But no one had even tried to tell Ryan to do. He shrugged. Well, he had gotten over some troubles in his life without help, he would do again. He turned the shower on and enjoyed the warm feeling of water on his body. The pain had almost faded, luckily. Okay, sometimes, when he did something exhausting, his ribs let him know that it was too early. The wound on his arm, where the Russian had driven his knife in, was healing slowly, but at least it had stopped bleeding everyday. It probably would have needed stitches, but now it was too late anyways. And the wound in his mouth? Ryan gurgled with camomile tea everyday, and it was healing. He hadn't thought of getting an implant so far. They were too expensive anyways. He knew it didn't really look good, a cop missing a tooth, but well, he had found out that if he didn't smile too brightly, no one would notice. And he had run out of reasons to smile anyways… He got out of the shower and looked at his face in the mirror. Four long years with Miami's Crime Lab, and not once he had had the feeling of being appreciated. Well, okay. Alexx Woods was the exception. But the rest… When he had taken the nail in his eye, people had asked him if he was fine. But why? Just because he could be damaging a case. Again, except for Alexx, who had been worried about his eye sight. And when he had had his problems with gambling? Again, when they had asked him afterwards about it, it had only been because, being an addict, his actions could be questioned when it came to court. No one had been worried about his mental state of health. They only cared about that he worked properly and wouldn't endanger anything they worked on. And now? They didn't ask him anything. They only talked to him about ongoing cases. They didn't ask how he felt. For them, he was only a traitor. A puppet on a Russian's string. He didn't know what Horatio had told them about that day 2 weeks ago. Had he told them that he had been tortured for 14 hours straight and had only caved in because they were threatening the life of a kid? Probably not, or else they would have understood him. If they weren't a bunch of cold hearted bastards. Of which he wasn't so sure anymore… He sighed, walked over to the kitchen and brewed himself a large pot of coffee. He would need it.

--

He was so glad when finally the first call came and he could leave his flat. Sitting at his kitchen table for hours and hours, staring into nothing didn't really help him getting over it. Okay, now he would have to be on a crime scene with people that hated him. But at least he could keep his mind off these terrible memories. The crime scene was in South Beach. Apparently exactly there. In the sand. Ryan got out of his Hummer, kit in his hand and walked to the beach. The smell of the sea failed to cover the smell of the vomit around their crime scene. Apparently, some patrols had been revolted by the DB next to which Dr Price had now unpacked her tools. Horatio and Delko were standing there, Calleigh took pictures. And then, he saw her. A bit apart from the rest of the team stood a tall, red haired woman. Nicole Ferguson. Her eyes were glued to the body in front of her. Ryan immediately felt a bit better. If no one of the team accepted him, Nicole Ferguson did. She had been the only one noticing something had been wrong when he hadn't answered his calls, and she had been the one caring for him, helping him slow down the case, and not once saying he did something wrong.

He walked over to her, not taking notice of any of his team mates, "I thought you had a week off?"

She raised her head, "Ryan. Glad to see you. Yes, I had a week off. Had. But apparently, the city goes down when I'm not around, so after two days, they already called me back, and as a welcome present, I got a mutilated youth." She pointed at the body in front of her. It was male, about 17 years old, of African-American descent, and naked. And missing some vital organs.

Ryan grimaced, "I hope he was already dead when they… took it off…"

Nicole nodded, "But, judging from all the blood around the wound… He may have been pretty much alive…"

Ryan grinned, "You should think of transfer from field to the lab."

"No way. Don't wanna work with these two…" She discretely pointed at Delko and Calleigh. "I had them in front of me at a red light. I could see them kissing, and snogging, and touching each other…"

"Okay, I get the point. But you could be spending time with Travers and Valera."

Now it was Nicole grinning, "I think some people think I already spend too much time with Valera…" She looked at the body again, "What would you guess is cause of death?"

Ryan shrugged, "Probably the blood loss. But let's wait for Tara…"

"And she'll tell you after the autopsy…." Tara muttered without looking away from her victim.

Ryan only nodded and walked to the crime scene tape, Nicole following him. When they were out of ear shot from the others, he asked, "Do you know what the others have found?"

"Who, Romeo and Juliet? Nothing so far. Why don't you ask them?"

Ryan sighed, "Who knows if they would tell me anything… Don't know how often you've been at HQ, but since… well, you know what, they hate me even more than before…"

"Didn't you tell them why you did it?"

Ryan shook his head, "They wouldn't understand. Told you so."

Nicole nodded, "Probably, yeah." Then she looked at Ryan, "How about you? You're getting over it?"

"Slowly, but yeah, I'm fine…" It was a lie. But Nicole had done so much for him already; it didn't seem fair to bother her with his problems.

But Nicole seemed to nevertheless get he was lying. But she didn't push. "Well, I guess you should just go, get his ID and then you and I go and tell his family he's dead."

---

But since the victim had no ID on his, they had to wait for Valera to give them his name. Luckily, his name was in the database. "Cody Smith."

"He is in the system?" Ryan asked.

"He filled in a report three years ago, 20th March 2006. Somebody beat him up. A… Jack Hannigan." Valera answered and printed the data on both out. Ryan took the sheet on Smith. "He was 19…"

Nicole glanced at the sheet, "We have an address?"

"Yeah. But I want to check in with Tara first before we go see the parents. You're okay with that?"

"Sure…"

---

Tara and Kyle were just washing their victim when Nicole and Ryan arrived.

Nicole grinned when she saw Kyle, "Hey Shorty. You're a bit pale…"

Kyle nodded, "That's something girls will never understand… This had to hurt… I mean, he should be caressed. Not cut off…"

"And you shouldn't even think of penises." Nicole patted Kyle on the shoulder, "But don't worry, most women won't cut it off. You have already something on the COD?"

Tara raised her head, "Sweetie, I know it's urgent, but I'm not a magician…"

"Come, on, some hint…"

Tara sighed, but she did as asked. "Well, for now, I can say, not shot, not stabbed…" She looked into his eyes, "not strangulated or suffocated…" She thought about it. "The rest, I can only tell you after I've finished completely. Did you already tell the parents?"

Ryan shook his head, "Not yet, no."

"Good. Because I saw something I think you should know before you go there… Come Kyle, help me turn him around…" Kyle did as he was asked, and a second later, their victim was lying face down on the stretcher. Tara motioned to Kyle to give her a lamp. He did, and she pointed it at the back of the victim.

Ryan and Nicole didn't say a word. Long scars were crisscrossing the back of their victim. Ryan didn't have to ask what had made these scars. He knew. His own back looked almost the same. "I guess I call a judge for a warrant before we go there…"

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**Like it? Hate it? Please let me know**


	2. Family Portrait

A new Chapter again. Thanks for all of you who have read and reviewed. I have been asked in a review about the Slash thing. To make clear what I meant: No one of the series regulars is going to be involved with a person of the same sex. I just think it's not in character for any of them.

**Disclaimer: **See Chapter One

**Warning: **Mentions of child abuse

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**Chapter 2: Family Portrait**

After they had told Tara to make X-rays of their victim, Ryan and Nicole drove to the address where Smith's parents lived. Nicole had collected the warrant already, and now both were sitting in Nicole's Merc, driving to the house. As usual, Nicole had the volume turned up, and Ryan had to listen to the Pussycat Dolls' song _Halo_ five times in a row. When they finally arrived, he almost knew the lyrics by heart.

"I seriously don't know how you can like this."

"The Dolls? Why wouldn't I?"

"I mean, it's not like it's high quality music…"

Nicole laughed, "You know, I don't care. I love music that gives me the feeling of freedom. And their music does…" She looked at the house and sighed, "You know. I hate it when I have to tell parents that their child is dead. You really think the father did this?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't know… I mean… It looks like something… I don't think a random stranger would do this, and I doubt this is from that attack he reported. And unless he's in some sort of strange SM scene… Yeah, I think it was the father."

Nicole sighed, "What goes on in a father to do such a thing?"

Ryan could have told her, but he decided to not. Instead, he rang the bell. A few minutes later, a man opened, "Yes?"

As Ryan didn't speak, but only watched the guy, Nicole introduced them, "Mr Smith? I'm Detective Nicole Ferguson from MDPD, this is CSI Ryan Wolfe… Can we come in?" The man nodded and guided them to the living room. There they sat down on the couch, and Nicole said, "Gerald Smith? I have bad news for you. Your son is dead."

Ryan frowned. He had already sometimes been present when some cop had told the relatives of a victim that their mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother was dead. But never before had he heard a cop delivering the news so cold like Nicole had just done it. She had always had a reputation of being a cold-hearted woman, but since he had only known her other side, this surprised him.

But the reaction of the man opposite them surprised him even more. No reaction whatsoever.

But Nicole was not yet finished. "We have a warrant to search your property and your person."

Now, the man looked at her, "On which grounds?"

"Child abuse."

"I'm sorry?"

Nicole leaned back, "Your son's back is covered in scars. What did he do to deserve such a beating?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, it is now. Have you killed your son?"

Ryan looked at Nicole. Her eyes were hard as steel when she looked at the man.

But Smith was not nearly as impressed as Ryan, "I didn't kill my son. Do you want me to report you for harassing me?"

"Do what you think you have to do. CSI Wolfe is going to search your stuff now, while you gonna answer me a few questions…"

"Not without my lawyer…"

Nicole grinned, "We can also do this the hard way, but I would prefer if we just talk. Casually…"

Ryan got up, "I'll be right back…" He walked up the stairs. He didn't have to think long on where to start. His way led him immediately to the parents' bedroom. To the wardrobe. He opened it and looked for the belts. He found four of them. He tested them for blood, but to no avail. Still, he bagged them. In the lab, under a microscope, he would surely find something. He then walked over to Cody's room. It looked like every other room of a boy his age. Actually, no… it didn't. Yes, there were posters of 50 Cent and Timbaland… but one wall was apparently dedicated to Cody and his friends. Ryan walked over to that wall and looked at the pictures. They showed Cody with a bunch of guys. Six or seven young men, all looking very happy and excited as to what life would have in store for them. And now, one of them was gone. He sighed and walked over to the next wall. The only thing on it was a large painting. It was rather abstract, only lots of colours that looked like somebody had just thrown them at the canvas.

"I have no idea what people like about this sort of art…" That was Nicole, leaning in the doorframe.

Ryan turned around, "Where did your friend go?"

"Gerald? Well, he decided he won't talk to me without his lawyer, so I called patrol and told them to escort him to HQ."

"I see… exactly, is that how you question people everyday?"

"Yep. Nothing sweet about me… What have you found?"

Ryan sighed, "I bagged four belts I found in the parents' bedroom. It won't help with our case, but I think the father used them to beat him up…"

"You found anything here?"

Ryan frowned, "I don't know… Does this look like a boy's room to you?"

Nicole looked around, "Sure, why not? And a boy with taste. Timbo is cool."

"When I was his age, I didn't have high classy art hanging in my room. And I was some sort of a dork."

Nicole grinned, "I wouldn't have known… But you ask me, this is not high classy art. He has done this himself."

"The painting?" Ryan frowned, but then checked the signature. "You're right. C. Smith, 3/24/2006. How does this work?"

Nicole explained, "It's painfully easy. You have the canvas, you dip your brush in whatever colour you want and then you just start hitting the canvas with it. Have you never seen Linkin Park's video for _Numb_? It's a wonderful therapy for aggressions."

Ryan looked at the picture, "You have seen the scars on his back. What do you think, how old are they?"

"You think…?"

"Look at this. It's the only painting around. I don't think he has done this often. And the colours? Red, and black. It's depressing…"

"And even more… look at the black lines. They were drawn on purpose like this…" Nicole bit her lip, "It's a portrait of his back."

Ryan swallowed, but then said, "At least, we have a date… So, the beating took place on the 24th of March 2006…"

"More like the day before. I'm sure he couldn't draw such a painting with his back on fire…"

"Wouldn't be too sure about that…." Ryan said gloomily.

Nicole turned to him, "How…" But a distinct noise interrupted her. Both Nicole and Ryan turned to the door.

A woman stood there, gun in her hands. It was pointed directly at Ryan's head.

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**EEEEEEEEVIL Cliffhanger. I don't think I will need long to update, but every review makes me post the new chapter an hour earlier, sooooooo ;) Just kiddin'.... maybe :D**


	3. Secrets

Okay, guys, I'm really sorry for the long wait... But I've been busy with uni stuff again... Damn it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Love u all...

**Disclaimer: See Chapter One**

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**Chapter 3: Secrets  
**

Ryan and Nicole froze on the spot. The woman held the gun in her hand, pointing at Ryan, but her eyes went back and forth between the two. "Okay. Put your hands in the air or I shoot. I have the right to shoot you. You're in my house."

Nicole raised her hands, "Yes, but…."

"SHUT UP, BITCH!!!!" She pointed the gun at Nicole now. "What did you do to my son and my husband????? Where are they????? ANSWER!!!!"

Ryan, who had his hands up as well, said, "Ms. Smith, we're from the Miami Dade Police. My name is Ryan Wolfe, this is Detective Ferguson. If you want, we can identify ourselves…"

"Where are my son and my husband? Pretty boy, I'm not kiddin'. Answer my question."

Ryan looked at Nicole; telling the woman that her son was dead and her husband in custody didn't seem like a good idea right now. Nicole looked back and shrugged; what else could they say?

Ryan just wanted to open his mouth when the woman fired a shot. It missed Nicole's head only by inches. Before he could actually react, Nicole had grabbed the first thing in her reach, a thick book lying on the table next to her, and thrown it at the woman. It distracted her long enough for Ryan to jump in her direction. He wrestled her down, but she didn't let go of the gun, but only screamed insults at him.

But suddenly another click noise was heard, and Nicole's voice, at its dangerously calm level, said, "You might wanna give my partner your gun, or I shoot you…" Her gun was pointed at the woman's temple. The woman spit on Nicole, but then abandoned her gun to Ryan.

Ryan handcuffed her and bagged the gun. Then he looked at Nicole, "You're okay?"

"Yeah, sure. You need a DNA sample of her? Don't think you'll get it that easy anymore…" She pointed at the saliva in her hair.

Ryan smiled, "Yeah, you're prolly right there. We should thank her for her cooperation…" He took a swab out of his kit, took the strand of her hair and ran the Q-Tipp over it. Only then he realized how close his face was to hers. He made a step back. "Err… Thanks…"

"Yeah, yeah. Since this is not a crime scene, can I use their bathroom to wash this off?"

"Err, yeah, sure…"

---

They brought the woman to HQ and sat down opposite of her. Nicole grinned, "Well, that's a nice family, isn't it? Husband beats son, wife shoots at police officers…" She turned to Ryan, "We could get them both into prison if they don't cooperate…"

The woman, Nadine Smith, handcuffed to the table, just looked at both of them, "Where are my husband and my son?"

Ryan sighed, "Your husband is in custody. And… I'm sorry to tell you, but your son is dead…"

He hadn't even finished properly when she spit on him and screamed, "Liar!!!!"

Ryan tried his best to calm down and not scream back at her when she yelled insults at him and rocking on the table. A patrol got in and held her down when Nicole suddenly held a picture in front of her face.

"You think my partner is lying now?"

Nadine Smith looked at the picture. One minute, two minutes. Then she started screaming again, this time in pure agony. Nicole put the picture down and got up. "We're gonna leave you here for a few minutes until you have calmed down."

Ryan got up too and followed Nicole outside, "That was not the nicest way to tell anybody they lost their son. Do they actually let you talk to real victims?"

"Not anymore, no…" She sighed, "Sorry, but I thought it was the only possibility to stop her from screaming and spitting. Did she get you?"

"Yeah…" He had already wiped it away when Nicole hadn't been looking.

"Bloody bitch…" She looked at him. "You look tired. Are you sure you are okay?"

Ryan nodded first, but then he shook his head, "I haven't been sleeping too well… And… Well, don't worry. I guess it takes some time to get over… you know what…" He didn't want to tell her about how this case already now got to him. Not only because of the terrible mutilations on their victim. Those were bad enough. But the kid reminded him of himself somehow. The crap beaten out of him by his own father. And the mother spitting at everything that moved. It reminded him too much of his own childhood. But that was not for Nicole to know.

She nodded, "I'm sure. And by the way, you're doing much better than I thought. But still. You should go home. I can handle her alone."

But Ryan answered, "No. I want to talk to her too… Once she stops crying and spitting…"

---

She stopped crying and spitting an hour later. Now she was just rocking in her chair, back and forth, back and forth.

Nicole waved at Ryan to question her. He did, "Ms. Smith… I'm really sorry for your loss, but I have to ask you a few questions…" She only nodded. "Do you have any idea who would wanna do this to your son?"

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "He was a bad boy. But he didn't deserve this."

"What do you mean, bad boy?"

"I'm not gonna tell you… It's a shame for the family what he did…."

Ryan sighed deeply. He also knew that one. But he decided to not push on that subject; they would find out eventually. He took out a picture and placed it before her. It was a photograph he had taken off the wall in Cody's room. "Do you know you son's friends?"

She didn't even look at the picture. "Brats. They all are. They talked him into it."

"Into what?" That was Nicole asking.

"I'll never tell you. Where is my husband?"

"He's here. But we need to question him too. But of course, if you cooperate, we can finish this off, and then we can go question your husband, and then we can let you both go home. Or not. That depends entirely on you, so, who are these people?"

Nadine Smith looked at her, hatred in her eyes. Then she said, "I don't know their names. Is that enough?"

"Not nearly." Ryan answered. "Why do you hate those kids so much?"

She pressed her lips together. Ryan looked at Nicole, Nicole looked back. Both got up; it was obvious they wouldn't get anything else out of her. Ryan motioned to the patrol to bring her away, and both walked over to where the husband was waiting.

--

Gerald Smith was exactly as cooperative as was his wife. Only he didn't spit as much. "Where is my wife?"

Ryan answered, "She gave us a bit of a hard time, so we decided to put her away until she tells us what we want to know. The same could happen to you. If you don't cooperate."

Smith grinned, "Go to hell."

"Oh please… Now, a few questions… First of all, when have you seen your son for the last time?"

"I don't look at him anymore."

Nicole shook her head, "That's not good enough."

"But that is the truth."

Nicole hammered her fist on the table, "Look, I'm so fucking tired of this shit! We're trying to solve the murder on your son, and you and your wife tell me some crap about him being a shame for the family. I got it now, and I swear, if you don't start telling us anything that can help us, I'm gonna get you for child abuse!"

Ryan had to grin. While Nicole wasn't nearly as frightening as Tripp, seeing her standing there, her red curls all messed up and with that look in her eyes, she could at least intimidate people a bit.

Smith didn't seem intimidated, but at least he gave them a bit more information. "It might have been yesterday. Or the day before. We didn't talk to him anymore."

"And why is that?"

"You find that out for yourselves. I'm not talking about him. He stopped being my son three years ago."

"You mean the day when you beat the crap out of him? Why did you do that anyways?" This was Ryan asking.

But Gerald only looked at him, "Some children deserve it…"

"Okay, I have enough of this crap." Nicole waved the patrol to come over. "Book him." The patrol led Smith away. Nicole sat down on the table. "Lovely family. What do we do now?"

Ryan shrugged, "Same procedure as everyday. We ask Tara what the final COD is and if our murderer has left anything behind, and if, we go and ask Valera and Travers if they've got something for us… You know how this works…"

"Yeah and maybe we should…" Nicole was interrupted by her cell phone. She picked up, "Ferguson? Tripp, what's up? You're sure? Yeah, alright, we're coming. Stay tight…" She hung up. "I think the Flodders are innocent…"

"How come?"

"Frank is at another crime scene."

"Our guy?"

"Yeah…"

Ryan sighed, "Okay. But I drive…"


	4. Blackadder, Blackadder

Again, soooooooooooooo sorry for the long wait... Seriously, to combine uni and work and social life, AND have time for writing.... I wonder how some of you can do that. Anyways. I hope you enjoy this chapter...

**Disclaimer: See chapter one. Plus, I don't own The Blackadder or its theme song. **

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**Chapter 4: Blackadder, Blackadder…. **

This time, their crime scene was a dumpster. Tara and her assistants had already taken the victim out of it when Ryan and Nicole arrived. He looked even worse then number one. His face was burned beyond recognition, the only thing unharmed seemed to be his rusty red hair. There were also burn marks on the rest of his naked body. And he was missing his genitals.

Ryan looked at the body and sighed, "So, we're dealing with a serial killer…"

Nicole grimaced, "Nice… let's hope he is in the system, or else we gonna have a hard time getting an ID…"

Ryan frowned and looked at the dumpster, "Well, there is one place where there actually could be an ID…"

Nicole followed his gaze. "In the dumpster? You think the murderer had thrown him in there with his wallet and stuff?"

"I fear so… And even if not, somebody has to go and check."

Nicole grinned, "Shall I call Delko and we just pretend we've never been here?"

Tara chuckled, but Ryan only said, "Then they would call me and tell me to get here and send me in. Better get over it fast…" He took his jacket of, handed it to Nicole and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Then he jumped into the dumpster. A loud scream got out of it, Ryan lost balance and fell, and a black lightning shot out of it.

Nicole and Tara got out of the way of the lightning which raced in the corner of the backstreet, and Nicole asked, "Hey, you're alright in there?"

"What the hell was that?" Ryan's head popped up.

Nicole shrugged and walked to where the lightning had disappeared. A few seconds later she sat on the dirty ground, "Oh dear, you're all scared. Did the big man scare you?"

Ryan frowned, but Tara grinned, "A cat…"

Indeed, it was a cat. A thin, black cat, eye opened in fear. Nicole held her hand out, but the cat just hissed at her. "Oh, lovey, don't be scared, I won't hurt you… You want a goody?" She reached in the pocket of her jacket and took out a little bag full of white things. She took one out and held it out to the cat. "Come on, sweetie, it is cat nip. You like that, don't you?" The cat did. It was still very suspicious, but allowed Nicole to touch it. "Oh dearie, you must have had a hard life. What happened to your eye? Did you lose it while fighting for a girl?" Her voice was calm, seemingly reassuring the cat, because it now moved closer to Nicole and nudged her hand. "Oh, you're hungry? I'm sorry, I only have catnip here… What about I take you home to meet my babies, and there you can have a nice little dinner?"

Tara was fascinated by what she saw, "Is that really Nicole Ferguson?"

Ryan nodded, "Yeah. The one that showed just about an hour ago the picture of our mutilated victim to his grieving mother…"

Nicole walked back to the dumpster, the cat on her arm now. It felt apparently at ease there. But Nicole was right; it looked like its life hadn't been too easy. It was missing its left eye, and one of its ears. And it was terribly thin.

Ryan grinned, "Are you gonna bring home a cat from every case?"

Nicole sighed, "Come on, Ryan, look at him. He's all alone. He needs a friend…" The cat purred already a bit, but still looked like it was ready to scratch Nicole and run away every minute. "Yes, I'm gonna take care of you. You're gonna like it at my place… There's two cats already, Lord Byron and Kate Moss. They're gonna love you. And Frankie will too. Frankie loves cats. So, how am I gonna call you?"

Ryan shook his head, but he was smiling. While Nicole was muttering a bunch of names to the cat, watching on how it reacted, he rummaged through the rubbish in the dumpster. And after five minutes, he found something, "I have a driver's license. Steven O'Shanahan."

"Is it our victim?" Nicole asked while caressing the cat's head.

"As if I would know. You remember his face was burnt? But judging from the hair colour… I guess, yes, it's him." He jumped out of the dumpster, carefully not to scare the cat. "O'Shanahan. That name rings a bell."

"Yes… now that you mention it, he's the priest of that little catholic church on my block." Nicole looked at the victim. "Well, it could be his nephew. I don't know the kid's name, but I know he has a nephew around the age of 17."

Tara grinned, "You go to church? Every Sunday? Seriously, you surprise me. First you are the cat whisperer, now this."

Nicole laughed, "Well, sorry to disappoint you… But I don't go to church. At least not to his church. I'm a protestant. I only know because my neighbour told me. Apparently it was a huge scandal because people think that he's not the nephew, but the son. He sure looked a lot like his uncle."

"Was that the same neighbour who told me you were a lesbian because you always hang out with Valera?" Ryan grinned while shaking potato peels out of his hair.

"Exactly that one… You think we could go and ask him to identify the kid?"

Ryan frowned, "Yeah, of course, we can go and show him the burnt face of his nephew."

"Well, you have any better idea?" Nicole waited.

Ryan shrugged, "The usual procedure. We ask him if he can provide a DNA sample of the kid, because we might have found his nephew… Speaking of, do we know if he's been reported missing?"

"Wait a second, I call HQ." She dialled, "Yes, Frank, it's Nicole. Listen can you check the Missing Persons Database for… Steven O'Shanahan. Yeah, I wait… Yes? Do we have a DNA sample of him? I don't care if you know or not, find it out. Yeah, okay, bye." She hung up and redialled, "Maxi? It's Nikki. Do you have a DNA sample of Steven O'Shannahan? Reported missing two days ago. You have? Great. We'll bring you something to compare it to as soon as I brought The Blackadder home. A cat. Bye bye." She turned around. "Valera has got a sample. Let's just bring the cat home, give him something to eat and then we go to HQ, check the sample and then we go see the priest…"

Ryan sighed, "Nicole, shift is over. We go to see Valera tomorrow, and then later see the priest. For now, I think we should call it a day. And did you really decide to call the cat 'The Blackadder'?"

"Yeah. When I was young, I always wanted a cool nickname, like The Blackadder. They never gave me one." She grinned, "Don't roll your eyes on me."

"I wouldn't dare to…"

* * *

**Likey? Not likey? Please lemme know. Love, fergie**


	5. A sinful road

**Oh dear, I am so sorry that you have to wait for updates so long.... But next week I have time off from uni, so I should be able to update and write more... Unless of course I have a writers block.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own CSI Miami or Ryan Wolfe**

* * *

**Chapter 5: A sinful road**

"_It would be a waste of your unique skills…" The Russian grabbed his chin with two fingers and pulled his face towards him, to take a closer look at it. Ryan breathed heavily. His body ached from all the beats. His face was covered in sweat and blood. He couldn't. He couldn't handle it anymore. This pain. This humiliation. He felt so vulnerable, so entirely defenceless. He didn't know how often the Russian had already beaten him. He had received beats to his face, to his stomach… And he couldn't to anything to defend himself. Whatever the Russian wanted to do to him, he could, because Ryan wasn't able to even raise his hand to protect himself. Now he walked over to the table and came back with the pliers. Ryan felt his heart stopping as he saw the pliers. "No... no…stop.."_

"No... stop… please stop… NO!!!!" Ryan screamed and almost fell out of his bed because he was tossing and turning. Luckily, he woke up before it came that far. The time said it was 4 o'clock in the early morning. He closed his eyes and got up. Walked around his place, pacing back and forth, finally grabbing his Ipod. He put his headphones on and switched the Ipod on. Malcolm McLaren's _About her._ He had heard this song on Tarantino's _Kill Bill_, years ago. He had forgotten it for all those years, but the night he had gotten home after the torture, after Nicole had left, he had suddenly remembered the song. He didn't know why exactly that night. The lyrics didn't fit his situation. He had not even really liked the movie. But the music… It made him feel comfortable. Sad, yeah, but comfortable. Somehow. He walked over to the window and watched the city. Although it was so early in the morning, the city was alive. He saw people down there. The people he had sworn to protect. A young girl walked on the other side of the street. Yes, he had sworn to protect her. Her friends. Her parents. _I can't go on like this…_ He felt so weak. He knew he wasn't. He knew most people would have done everything the Russians wanted just to make them stop. He hadn't. He had hold up for as long as it was only about him. And if they had never brought little Billy in, he would have hold up till the bitter end. But still, now that it was over… The feeling he had now was worse than the pain he had felt at the Russian's hands. The guy had shown him that he was vulnerable. He had shaken his trust in himself. It was not so much the beats and the tooth he had yanked out that had shown to Ryan how helpless he had been. There had been other things. This violently tugging his hair. It reminded him of his father, who had always done that when punishing him. This… the moment the Russian had touched his face, not to beat it, but to… yeah, to compliment him… That had been the worst. He couldn't put it in words why, but these things hurt him actually more than the beats. It had been somehow humiliating, being touched by this guy and told he had unique skills… Skills they could use… He closed his eyes and listened to the song.

--

3 hours later, there was a knock on his door. He opened, "Nicole?"

She smiled, "Good morning. I just wanted to tell you that I've already checked in with Maxi. Our guy is definitely Steven O'Shanahan…. Damn, Ryan, you look terrible. Have you been sleeping this night?"

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, but not really well. But it's okay. So, that means we can go to see the father immediately? Good… I wasn't really looking forward to bump into Cal and Eric at the HQ."

"I know, this is why I went there and already got us the results of the DNA sample, the tox screen and the autopsy results for both our victims. But I doubt it is a good idea to discuss them here on the floor…" She grinned.

Ryan had to grin too and let her in, "Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet… How come everybody was already there? I mean, it's quite early…"

"Yes, it is, but apparently Tara made the autopsy yesterday as soon as she was back at HQ, and while she wasn't there this morning, Shorty… I mean, Kyle, was. He had the results ready for me… Have you had breakfast already, because I'm starving? I know a nice little shop around the corner, where you can get the best full English breakfast in the U.S. What do you say?"

"Well… actually I haven't had breakfast yet, so… yeah why not?"

---

Half an hour later, they were sitting in a nice little shop, in front of them two warm English breakfasts. Nicole took a sip from her black tea and started, "Okay, soo… Tara told me that both victims bled to death from the wound… well, there. And O'Shanahan died two days ago and Cody Smith yesterday morning, so…. She thinks about 4 hours before we found him…"

"Okay… I think we can rule out Cody's parents. This looks like a serial killer to me… We should check our databases if there's been other victims around that died of… well, this."

"Already did that. Didn't find anything, though. There were a few guys missing their… you know what… but they were mostly killed by ex girlfriends or ex wives…"

Ryan took a bite from his toast, "Wow, you've done already good work. Have you been to bed at some point during the night?"

Nicole grinned, "Not exactly, no. It took me a while to figure it all out. You know how many cases there are where women castrate their men?"

"Too many. To quote Kyle, he should be caressed, not cut off…"

Nicole nodded, "Yeah… So, do you think we're dealing with a woman here?"

Ryan shrugged, "I'm not a profiler. I mean… it sounds like it. It could be some woman who was badly cheated on or something… But then, why go for such young boys?"

Nicole took a few spoonfuls of her porridge. "I don't know…"

"Has no one found anything on the bodies?"

"No skin cells or anything. Tara found something between Steven's fingers though, but I couldn't reach Travers yet." She took another sip of her tea. "Let's hope it's is something we can use… I don't like the idea of this person running around."

"Neither do I…" He motioned the waitress to ask for the bill. "So, I guess we go and see the father now, and then we go see Travers."

---

While Nicole was driving Ryan sighed, "Do you sometimes change the CD in your car? It's always PCD."

"Well, no it's not. But well… just look into my glove compartment. You should find something there…"

Ryan checked it, "You know, I know some cops keep their service weapon and stuff here, and not half of a CD shop. Did you rob one?" There were about 20 CDs stored in it. Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, Alicia Keys… The soundtrack for _Kill Bill Volume 1 _and _Volume Two_. "I didn't know you like Tarantino."

"Like? I love him. I think he's an artist. What he does with music is more than art. You know how many car chases I already won while listening to _The Green Hornet_?"

Ryan grinned, "So before you start chasing after a car, you put that CD in?" His fingers automatically reached for _Volume Two_. "You mind if I put that in? I have a thing for _About her_."

"Yeah, sure. I love that song too. _My man got a heart… like a rock cast in the sea..._" She hummed. "So, what are we gonna tell Father O.? That his nephew has been brutally slaughtered and burnt?"

Ryan frowned, "How about you let me talk?"

"I was waiting for you to say that…."

-----

Father O'Shanahan was just preparing the church for a wedding when Nicole and Ryan got in. The Father was a tall man, with lots of black hair and deep brown eyes. But this didn't change the fact that he looked a lot like his nephew. If Ryan hadn't known, he would have thought the kid was his son, too.

Now, the Father smiled at them, "Welcome. You're here to plan a ceremony for your marriage too, I suppose… Just let me finish this one, and I will be at your service."

Ryan and Nicole looked at each other, then grinned. But then Ryan said, "Father O'Shanahan, we're from the Miami Dade Police…"

The Father dropped the flowers he was carrying and turned around, "Have you found my nephew?"

Ryan nodded, "Yes, we have… Father O'Shanahan, we're really sorry…but your nephew is dead. We found him yesterday."

Father O'Shanahan didn't move for a few seconds and then said, "Thank you for this information. May the Lord send angels to guide him on his way." He crossed himself. "How did he die?"

"Blood loss." Nicole answered. "Can we ask you a few questions?"

"Yes. Let us talk in my office." They followed him. They sat all down. "How can I help you officer?" He only addressed Ryan.

"When did you see your nephew the last time?"

"Three days ago. He didn't come home from school. I reported him missing five hours later."

"Was he involved in something?" Nicole asked.

Father O'Shanahan only glanced at her, but spoke to Ryan, "Not really, no. He had a few of… special friends… The little Smith boy for instance, he was not the best influence on Steven…"

"Wait a second? Cody Smith?"

He nodded, "Yes, that's the one. You think he has done this?"

Ryan shook his head, "He was found dead yesterday morning."

"Oh…" He crossed himself again.

Nicole asked, "What do you mean when you say that Cody was not a good influence?"

The priest still only looked at Ryan, "He was… confused, I might say. He… he thought that he was… homosexual." The last word he nearly spit out.

And apparently, he had hit a nerve. "And that's a bad thing, or what?" Nicole asked, but her voice was cold as ice.

"Steven came to see me about him. Asked what could be done. I told him to tell Cody he should pray a lot. Other diseases have been cured by praying…."

"It is NOT a disease!" Nicole said.

Now, for the first time, Father O'Shanahan looked at her for real, "I suppose you are one of them too. I can help you…"

"I don't need any help. Especially not from you." She looked at him, fury in her eyes. "You know that it is your fault that homosexuality is still seen as a sin? The fault of your people?"

"My people?" He smiled. "I suppose you're not catholic?"

"I used to be. I'm a protestant now. You think praying is gonna help me to find the right way again?" She was sarcastic.

Father O'Shanahan turned back to Ryan, "Are we done?"

Ryan nodded; while he had thought at first the priest was a nice man, his comments about homosexuality had made Ryan loose a lot of sympathy for him. Both he and Nicole got up. Ryan gave his card to the priest, "If you remember anything, please call me. Everything could be important."

* * *

**Again, sorry for the long wait...**


	6. Every girl wants a boy like this

Okay, Here you have a new chapter again... Uni is finished now, so I might be able to update more often.... No promises though....

**Disclaimer: Don't own. **

* * *

**Chapter 6: Every girl wants a boy like this  
**

Out on the parking lot, Nicole immediately lit up a cigarette. Ryan asked, "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, "No, not at all. I wish I could go back and kick his catholic butt."

Ryan nodded, "I can understand…" Then he asked cautiously. "You… you're not… are you?"

Nicole looked at him, "A lesbian? No, I'm not… I'm bisexual. But that's not the problem." She was silent for a bit, then asked, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Nicole, it's me you're talking to…"

Now, she smiled, "Yeah, okay." Then she swallowed and started. "I… I had a friend. We were inseparable from Kindergarten on. His name was Randy."

"Was?"

Nicole nodded, "Yeah. He died 10 years ago. By the hands of his own father…" She turned her head from Ryan. "Randy discovered at the age of 14 that he was homosexual. While he never hid it from his friends, he did hide it from his family. He was a wonderful person, and I've rarely met someone who could love as he could. When he met this guy, Dorian, he was so happy. Dorian gave him the last strength he needed to tell his family about his homosexuality. Dorian's parents had been very understanding and really supporting. They were sad that they would never have a grand child, but they only wanted their son to be happy. They immediately accepted Randy as their son's boyfriend. Randy saw this and thought, well, maybe his parents would accept it too." She sniffed now. "Randy's father threw him down the stairs after having beaten him. He died from a broken neck. I was at the funeral. They didn't have an open coffin. Dorian killed himself two months later." Ryan saw that she wiped her cheeks. "Randy and Dorian were perfect couple. They were like Bonnie and Clyde. They would have killed and died for each other. Now both are dead. I lost my best friend back then. And I promised myself that I will never forget how the two loved, and that I will fight for the acceptance of homosexuals. Randy was so passionate about everything he did, and he helped many guys plucking up the courage to come out. And when he did…"

Ryan hadn't said anything. Nicole's story really touched him. He laid his arm around her shoulders. "I'm really sorry, Nicole. I know it sounds like an empty phrase when a cop says it, because he says it so often. But I really am…"

"I know." She smiled a bit when she looked at him, but her lower lip was still trembling. Ryan pulled her into a careful hug and let her cry on his shoulder. "Come on, we'll make a stop at Starbucks and you can have something with a lot of ice. I even pay."

--

An hour later, they were back at HQ. Nicole had had a big Frappucino with Vanilla and was now smiling again.

But somebody noticed immediately she had been crying. When Ryan and Nicole entered Trace lab, Michael Travers looked up from his microscope. He watched her a few seconds and then asked, "Nicole. What happened?"

Nicole grinned, "Nothing, Mike. I'm alright."

But Travers didn't believe her and turned his attention to Ryan, "Did you make her cry?"

"What? No, I didn't…"

"Then who did? Nicole? Whose butt am I going to kick?" Travers watched his girlfriend.

Nicole smiled, "A catholic priest, if you absolutely want to…"

"I will. But before I go out and challenge a man of God, I have some results for you. And I think you won't like them… The fibres under their fingernails. While I cannot tell you where they come from, I can tell you that they are white, and that they come from the same piece of cloth."

Ryan nodded, "That confirms what we think. That we have a serial killer. Damn."

Nicole sighed, "Great. So Steven will probably not be his last victim… Thanks, Mikey."

Travers smiled, "Anytime. So where can I find this priest?"

Nicole leaned over the table and gave Travers a short kiss to the cheek, "You're a cutie, Mikey. But it's okay. I'm going to kick his butt myself." She smiled. Then both she and Ryan left Trace lab and walked over to DNA lab.

Valera raised her head, "I have nothing for you. Tara went over the victims again and again she told me. There was no DNA. No skin cells, no nothing."

Ryan sighed, "That's bad… really bad." He shoved Nicole. "Come on, let's go and see Tara."

--

Tara was again absent, but Kyle sat in the morgue, going through a book. He raised his head, "Ms Ferguson, what can I do for you?"

Nicole rolled her eyes, "Shorty, it's Nicole, not Ms Ferguson. Where's Dr. Price?"

"I don't know. She seems to have trouble with her shoulder, maybe she took the day off…"

"No, I didn't." Tara had just entered and caught the last words Kyle had said. "Nicole, Ryan, I told Valera and I tell you, there was no DNA."

Ryan sighed, "Okay… did you look everywhere?"

"Yes, I did look everywhere…"

"Okay… listen. I need you to go back to Cody Smith. Check his…" Ryan blushed a bit. "Anal cavity. He was homosexual. Did you see any signs of rape?"

Tara shook her head, "No, but I have to admit, I didn't really look for it. I mean… it's pretty uncommon, still." She walked over to the table with Cody Smith on it and motioned Kyle to help her turn his lifeless body around. Then she took a closer look. And bit her lip. "You were right, yes. How come I haven't noticed it?"

"As you said, it's still uncommon…" Nicole said.

Tara took a swab and went over Cody's body. Then she moved over to Steve O'Shanahan. "Same picture." She repeated her action and handed the swabs over to Nicole and Ryan. "I don't know if you get something off it, though. This looks to me like he or she used some kind of tool."

"Well, maybe we get something of this." Ryan shrugged. "Anything would be good right now. Let's go and see Travers again."

----

Travers frowned when the two explained the situation to him. "This is brutal. I mean, the thing with the genitals is already enough to make any man cringe with fear and pain. He should be caressed, not cut off…"

Nicole rolled her eyes, "I think you are by now the third guy who says this…."

"That, my lady, is because it is the truth. That's something you girls will never understand. And now, you tell me the poor kids have been raped? Looks like you got a real sicko on your hands there."

"Well, we have a catholic priest to bury them, at least…" Nicole sneered. "That is, if he wants to bury homosexuals…"

Travers prepared his instruments, "I really need to go and find that bastard tonight, don't I?"

Nicole smiled, "I think I already shocked him enough when I told him I am a protestant."

Ryan grinned, "Yeah, he looked at you like you were insulting him… But you said you were catholic once?"

Nicole nodded, "Yeah. I chose to convert a few years ago."

"Why?"

"I didn't agree on anything the Catholic Church said, but I couldn't be without religion. So I chose to convert."

Ryan nodded, "So you believe in God?"

"Sure." She looked at him like he had just surprised her by asking that question.

But then Travers motioned them to be quiet. "I found something. Rust. You might be looking for a tube or something like that." He raised his head. "Rings a bell?"

Ryan shook his head, "Not really, no. But then again, we don't have any suspects…"

"So, what's your next step, then?" Travers asked.

Ryan shrugged, "I don't really know…"

Nicole frowned, "I go and check our Missing Person's Database."

Ryan sighed, "I doubt it's gonna help, though… I mean, what do you want to look for? Missing homosexual boys? Doubt that's gonna work…"

"Yeah, but, we could look at least for recently reported missing guys from…. let's say 15 to 20 years old…." She shook her head. "No, not gonna work. But what else can we do? We have nothing. No DNA, no nothing. If Cody's family doesn't tell us about his friends, we're stuck…"

"Then we just have to get it out of them…."

"Going 'Good cop, evil cop'? I don't wanna be spit on again…"

"Neither do I, but…" In that moment, Ryan's cell phone rang. He picked up. "Wolfe? Yes, Paula? Yes, that's me and Nicole. Why? We're in Trace Lab. What's the name? Yeah, all right, we'll be there." He hung up and shrugged, "There's some Marian Allan at the reception desk. She says he wants to talk to us. About the case."

Nicole smiled, "And just when we thought we had nothing…"

* * *

**Isn't Travers just cute?**


	7. That little bit of extra soul

**I know, I know. I'm sorry.... Just even now I am on summer break, I still work... and writing takes so much time if you want it done correctly.... Sorry again. Thanks to all of you guys that have reviewed and added my stories to all your lists...**

**Disclaimer: I only own Nicole and the stuff you don't recognize....  
**

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**Chapter 7: That little bit of extra soul**

When Nicole and Ryan entered the interview room, they were not, as they had expected before Paula told them, greeted by a girl or a woman. Marian was a guy; 21 years old, tall and thin, with big blue eyes and short blond hair. Nicole and Ryan sat at a table opposite of him.

"Marian Allan?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

Ryan grinned, "I admit I was expecting…"

Now Marian smiled a bit, "A girl? Happens to me all the time. I'm half German. In Germany Marian is a male name."

Nicole smiled back, "You always learn something new on this job."

Ryan nodded, "Indeed." But then he became serious again. "You said you wanted to talk about the Smith case? To somebody in charge? My name is Ryan Wolfe, I'm from the crime-lab, and this is Nicole Ferguson, the officer on the case. Have you seen something that could help us?"

Marian swallowed a bit now, "Actually, I wanted to talk about Steven… Smith, you said? Anything happened to Cody?"

Nicole nodded, "I'm really sorry to tell you, but Cody is dead, too…"

Marian nodded a bit. "I should have known. I haven't heard from him in two days…" He then looked at Nicole. "I know you. I've seen you at church. You're friends with Sam."

Nicole smiled, "I am, yes. She's brilliant."

"She is indeed. One of those that don't hide who they love. She and Mary have been together for six years now…" He swallowed again. "I… I don't know if it was a good idea to come… But…"

"Is anybody threatening you?" Ryan asked.

Marian chuckled a bit. "Maybe. I don't know…" He reached for his wallet and took a picture out. It was the same picture that they had seen in Cody Smith's room. Now Ryan noticed that Marian was on it, too. "This is us. Me, Cody, Eóin, Gerard, Alex and Gordon. Steven took the picture." He looked at the picture. "We are close friends. We are all homosexual. We never hid it. No one of us. We just thought, why would we hide something the world needs? You know, like love, affection… And now, Cody and Steven are dead. The others don't know. But now that I know… It scares me a little bit…"

Ryan nodded, "I can understand. Is there anybody you can think of that didn't like you being so open about it?"

Marian laughed, "You mean, like half the population of this planet?" But then he sighed, "I don't know. Cody's parents. And Steven's uncle. Pick one. But I guess they didn't do it, did they?"

"Well, we can't talk about an ongoing investigation with you, but… no, we don't think any of them did it." Ryan said.

"Do you know anything about what happened to Cody? The beating?" Nicole asked.

Marian nodded, "His father. He was furious when Cody came out."

"What about the beating he reported? Jack Hannigan?"

Marian nodded again. "Jack beat him up because he was gay. Cody reported him because he wouldn't let anybody doing this to someone just because that someone was gay or otherwise 'different'. It happened four days before he told his parents. He said, well, if he had already told his friends, he would tell his parents too…. You've seen what his father has done to him."

"You think Hannigan could have something to do with this?"

Now, Marian shook his head, "No, I don't think so. He's an idiot, but he wouldn't be able to kill somebody."

Ryan had been taking notes all the time. Now he asked, "Why exactly did you come to see us?"

"I… I have this here." He placed a book on the table. "It's Steven's old diary. He kept it at my place because he was afraid his uncle would find it. He started writing it when he discovered he was gay a few years ago. He must have started a new one though that he carried around all the time. Have you found anything like this?"

"No…" Ryan frowned. "But I didn't look for it. You said he carried it around all the time?"

"Yes."

Nicole got up, "I call Delko and tell him to go through…. the crime scene again….." She walked out of the room.

Ryan turned back to Marian, "Is there any other place he might have kept it?"

"I doubt it. He was too afraid his uncle would find out." Marian sighed.

"Do you think his uncle would be capable of such a thing?"

"No. I mean, he was against homosexuals, yes, but… he's a man of God. And I doubt he would kill anybody."

Nicole got back in and murmured, "Yes, because church has never killed anybody before… Delko says he's right at it." She didn't say dumpster to not upset Marian, but Ryan understood her nevertheless. Nicole sat back down.

Ryan turned back to Marian, "Who else knew about the diary?"

"No one. Not even the other guys."

"How come you did?"

Marian smiled a bit, "Let's just say… the thing between me and Steven was something special. I loved him, he loved me."

Nicole sighed, "I'm sorry for your loss. I really am."

Marian raised his head. "I believe you. I have seen you with Sam and Mary. You know how often we meet people like you? People that respect us? Not really often…" He sighed, "You will find this guy, right? The one who killed Steven and Cody?" He was looking at Nicole.

Nicole looked back and nodded, "I promise. We will find him." She handed him her card, "Listen, Marian. I want you to call me as soon as you notice something odd. Or if you remember anything. Or if any of your friends notice something odd. I'm available 24/7 for you and your friends."

"Thank you…." Marian packed the card away and asked, "What can we do?"

Nicole sighed, "Just be careful. Be on the look out. Tell me about anything weird you see."

Marian nodded, "You'll think he'll come for us again?"

Ryan hesitated, "It's possible, yes… I try and talk to my boss about police protection."

"Thank you…" Marian got up. "I don't know if there's anything valuable in the diary. I never read it."

Nicole gave him a warm smile. "There's always something valuable. And I promise we'll be discreet about it. You call me when you need help yeah? Don't hesitate."

"I won't…" Marian smiled back and left.

Ryan turned to Nicole, "You think the guy is targeting them?"

"Looks pretty much like it…" Nicole frowned. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll look for the other diary. We read this diary. I run after Marian and ask him for a list of all his friends, and we'll check on their parents and stuff. If someone is targeting their group, I bet it's someone close to them…" She ran out of the room, following Marian.

Ryan shook his head, picked up the diary and walked over to the break room.

* * *

**I know this chapter is really short, but the next one will be longer again. Pinky promise.**


	8. I learned to play on the safe side

Yeah, I managed to update fast! Great :o) Thanks for all of yopur reviews, I appreciate them, they so make my day. Hope you're gonna like this chapter too :o)

**I don't own anything you recognize. The title of this chapter is taken from Kelly Clarkson's song _Because of you_. Don't own music or lyrics.**

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**Chapter Eight****: I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt**

Ryan spent an hour going over the diary. He dusted it for prints, but only got two sets, one of them belonging to the victim, the other probably to Marian who had kept it. But he got nothing else. He would take it home later to read it; since he wouldn't be able to sleep through the whole night anyway, he could as well spend his waking hours going through it. After he was done, he put it away and went to find Nicole.

He found her outside, smoking. "Dumpster in the garage??"

She nodded, "Yep, Delko's going through it already.. Anything on the diary so far?"

"Two sets of prints, Steven and Marian. I guess it's Marian, but we might have to get back to him for his prints. I also read the first three pages. Steven seemed to be really afraid of his uncle. As far as I could understand, he's the only one who didn't come out towards his family. Have you got the list?"

"Yap. Didn't have the time to go through it, though. I'll do it while you help Delko going through the dumpster."

"Okay. You think we'll find something?"

She shrugged, "I hope so. If not…."

Ryan nodded, "Well, maybe there's something else in the dumpster we can use. Like the tube he used…"

Nicole put her cigarette out. "Let's hope. I want this bastard down before he hurts anyone else of them."

"You really think he's out for them, don't you?"

"Well, it looks like it. As long as we don't find anybody else murdered like this…."

"Yeah…"

---

Ryan walked over to the garage. Delko was sitting next to the dumpster, waiting. When he saw Ryan, he said, "Don't you trust my skills as an investigator anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been through it already. Why do I have to go back? With you?"

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Nicole and I just had a guy sitting here, he told us our vic was carrying a diary with him all the time."

"And you think I wouldn't have found it?"

"Eric, come on. I know you're good, and I trust you would have found it if it were there, but we don't even know what it looks like, so maybe you've seen it and thought it wasn't part of the crime…"

"Oh come on! Just because you're such a great criminalist…"

Ryan just shook his head, "You know what? Let's just go through the dumpster and be done with it. I'm tired of this…"

"Yeah, we're tired of you too…"

----

They went through the dumpster in silence. Ryan, because he really did not feel in the mood for more Ryan-bashing, and Delko because he was eager to find the diary first. But they came up with nothing. When Nicole walked in two hours later, both guys were just getting out of the dumpster again. Nicole grinned, "You look like every girl's dream. So sorry I have Travers already…. So, did you find something?" She was looking at Ryan.

He shook his head, "Nothing. If he had the diary with him, the murderer took it."

"So, he left Steven's ID in the dumpster, but took the diary…. Weird."

Ryan nodded, "But at least it tells us that his murderer knew there was a diary, and there's prolly something in that diary that could point to him… I'm going over the old one later on. What about you, any results?"

Nicole nodded, "I checked on the guys and their families. Apparently, the only one with a record is in fact Cody's dad. Something minor though. And I checked if the guys have reported other people for assault and stuff, but besides Cody reporting this Hannigan guy, nothing came up."

"So… nothing?"

"And a whole lot of it…." Nicole sighed. "I seriously don't know what to do anymore. Did you find the tube? Or anything else our guy could have used?"

Now, Delko shook his head. "As he already said, we didn't find anything. Though I didn't even know we were looking for a tube…." He glanced at Ryan, "Any reason why you didn't tell me? Or did you hide it somewhere to sabotage my work?"

Ryan decided to not say anything. But Nicole did, "Eric, can't you just cut that crap? Really, we're trying to find a murderer here who has every potential of becoming a serial killer. Why don't you stop behaving like a child and start acting your age?"

Eric sighed, "And I thought you were a model role of integrity. But, hey, I remember you worked with him on that day. He must have betrayed you too. How come you're not angry?"

"He didn't betray me. I knew what he was doing. And, you know, I knew why he did it. Because I asked. Just think about it, Eric. You're a great criminalist. You should figure it out what happened." She smiled and turned to Ryan. "By the way, we're off the clock since almost ten minutes. What do you say, shall we go to my place, I'm going to make us quick dinner and then we can go over the diary together?"

Ryan wanted to decline the invitation at first, but then he shrugged; he wouldn't be able to get sleep anyways, so why not? "Yeah sure, sounds good."

Delko looked at Nicole, "You know it's pretty risky what you do? He has a shaky reputation already, with all the stupid things he has done so far…."

"So what? You're afraid he's going to damage my reputation? That's really sweet of you. Good night." She waved at him and turned away. Ryan just grinned at Delko and followed her.

----

Outside he said, "You're alright if I take a quick shower first?"

"You can shower at my place if you want. Don't want to run into Cal or so…."

"Don't you think Travers will mind?"

Nicole grinned, "He won't. He knows he can trust me."

"Okay, good." Ryan grinned, "Thanks. That was really cool what you said to Delko."

"It was the truth. If he just took a few seconds to think about those two days, he'd figure it out. And then he'd prolly think different about it."

"Maybe…"

----

They arrived at Nicole's flat half an hour later. Nicole was greeted enthusiastically by Frankie, her Rottweiler. "Hey my dear! Yes, I know, it's been a long day! We'll go for a walk now, you and I… Where are the others?" She looked around. Kate Moss, Nicole's Maine Coon, sat in the dirty laundry, eyes closed. Lord Byron, the British Longhair, was lying on the sofa, watching Kate Moss. And The Blackadder was sitting on the window sill.

Ryan smiled, "This looks so peacefully. How is The Blackadder?"

"Hungry. I can tell you, it seems like he hadn't eaten anything real in years…" She walked over to the cat and ran her hands over its soft fur. "But he looks way better now than yesterday, don't you think?"

"Indeed. What have you done?"

"Well, I brought him to a vet as soon as I got home in the evening, and the vet checked him, gave him all possible inoculations and told me he was about 3 to 4 years old, and that the loss of his eye didn't cause any further damage. And then I got home, gave him something to eat and spend almost the entire evening cleaning his fur. And now, he already looks like he could win a beauty competition, doesn't he?" She smiled at the cat.

Ryan doubted it though, "Since when can somebody with only one eye win a beauty competition?"

"It's not about the eye that's gone, it's about the eye that's left. There's so much soul in it…" She grinned. "I'm a romantic." Then she got up. "I'll go and walk Franke while you take your shower, and then we'll have dinner, okay?"

"Sure. Where do I find everything?"

"Everything is in the bathroom drawers. Just go through them, I have nothing to hide." She looked for the leash. "I'll be back in half an hour. Take your time."

"I will." He watched Nicole walking to the door with Frankie, The Blackadder following them.

---

Ryan spent the whole 30 minutes in Nicole's bathroom. It was small, really, barely enough space for two people. But it was so neat and clean, like the rest of the flat. He immediately felt at ease. His own bathroom held so many bad memories he had already thought about redecorating it. But hers was really cosy. Her towels were soft, her shampoo smelled like a coconut tree and her soap like spring flowers. When he got out of the bathroom, Nicole stood already in the kitchen, preparing dinner. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. Though I smell like a girl now…"

"Better to smell like a girl than to smell like a dumpster, innit?"

"True. So… I see you're cooking. I thought about something like a pizza when you said dinner?"

Nicole grinned, "I just thought we could use something serious. I don't know about you, but I haven't eaten something real in a few days. And, no offence, but you look like you hadn't eaten in weeks. You've lost some weight…" She added the last bit of it carefully.

Ryan sighed, "I know. I gotta admit, I haven't really eaten something. I mean, something good. What are you planning on cooking?"

"I'm gonna make a lovely green salad with yoghurt dressing, and then we'll have a crunchy garlic chicken."

"Sounds good." Ryan smiled, "How long did it take you to learn it?"

"Anyone can learn to cook in 24 hours, says my mate Jamie Oliver. Okay, it took me like… almost a year, but I'm getting quite good at it."

----

And she was right. An hour later, Nicole and Ryan sat at the table and enjoyed their dinner. Ryan sighed, "I haven't eaten something that good in ages. So, some Brits can really cook?"

Nicole laughed, "Yeah, we can. If we want to. Thanks to Jamie Oliver."

"Well, thank him, then. This is so good." He really enjoyed it. He had never been a good cook, and while he had managed to at least cook once a week instead of going to a near Fast Food restaurant, he had never had anything as good as this chicken.

"How is your tooth, by the way?" Nicole asked.

"You mean, the place where it used to be? It's okay. Luckily I didn't get an infection." Ryan was a bit reluctant to talk about it, but he knew Nicole only meant well. And he was happy that somebody cared.

"Oh, good." She smiled. "Did you think of getting an implant?"

"I did, yeah, but you know how expensive they are…. And I still have some money trouble, some debts…" He sighed, "Not really the life I dreamt of when I was a kid…"

"What did you dream of?"

Ryan shook his head, "Nothing special… helping people, clean the streets of any scumbag that has ever done harm to other people…"

"Well, that's the right business, then." She smiled again. "You're doing well, Ryan."

"Not really." He got up after having finished. "I should go home now. It's late already. Thanks for dinner…"

"Did I say something wrong?"

Ryan smiled a bit and shook his head, "No, you didn't, don't worry. It's just… I don't think I'm doing well anymore, and I don't really know what I'm doing…" He sighed. "But I shouldn't bother you with this. You've done so much for me…"

"It's okay, Ryan…" She looked at him, "That Russian really broke something in you, didn't he?"

Ryan sighed, "You always do quote great philosophers of pop, right? Let me quote one for you…. '_My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't…_'"

"'…_.even whole to start with_.' Kelly Clarkson's _Because of you_. Beautiful song…." She sighed, but then her eyes started to sparkle. "You know what? You're not going home."

"Pardon me?"

"We gonna go clubbing. It's Friday evening. We have a day off tomorrow. And you need to get your mind off of this whole Russian torture thing. At least for a night."

"Nicole, I don't really feel like clubbing. I wanted to go over the diary tonight."

"We can go over the diary together tomorrow. Ryan, I may not be a shrink, but you need some fun. And what can be more fun than a night out, bailar la calle?"

Ryan sighed, "Is there anyway I can talk this idea out of your head?"

"Nope. So, don't even try. Trust me. You're gonna have the fun of your life."

Ryan frowned, but then he said, "Okay. If it means that much to you…"

Nicole smiled, "Great! So, you go home, dress up a bit, nothing to chic, we're going to a cheap club, and then you come back in an hour, how does that sound?"

"Scary…."

* * *

So, big party time :D


	9. Livin la vida loca

Oh good, I managed to update again. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far. I'm glad you like this story, and I hope you'll enjoy this chappie as well. Kinda different, you know, writing about them having a personal life apart from work relationships... :o) Anyways, hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing you recognize. The title is from Ricky Martin's _Livin la vida loca_**. **I don't own any of the songs mentioned in this chapter, they belong to the respective artists.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Livin' la vida loca**

About two hours later, Nicole and Ryan entered a nice little club. Ryan was wearing jeans and a wife beater, and noticed immediately that he was not underdressed. "That explains why the club is so cheap…"

Nicole nodded, "Yeah. It's for those people in Miami that can not afford paying 100 dollars to get into a club. You know there are actually poor people in Miami? We never notice because it's only the rich and beautiful dying."

"Yeah, I know… and always young people." He looked around. "It's a bit crowded, don't you think?"

Nicole laughed, "It's a club, Ryan. If it's not crowded, it's not true. Come on, let's dance."

--

They danced for over an hour without a break. And Ryan had to admit now, he was glad he had come. Not only was the atmosphere in the club really cool and casual, he also noticed that having danced for so long had made him feel really good. Now, he was standing at the counter with Nicole, drinking a big glass of water in one go. Nicole stood next to him, a small glass of soda in her hand. She smiled at him, "I can see in your eyes that you're feeling better."

Ryan nodded, "Indeed, yes… Thank you for dragging me here, I really enjoy it."

"I knew it. Believe me, there's nothing better than dancing when you feel down. Why do you think I signed up for a weekly dancing class?"

"Because you wanna be the next Pussycat Doll?" Ryan grinned. "But yeah, I understand. But I don't know, I always think guys look pretty…. ridiculous when they try dancing. I mean, video clip dancing…" He shrugged, "But I may try ballroom dancing. I learned it when I was a teen, but I think I might have lost some of it."

Nicole looked at him, surprised, "You can dance?"

"Sure… I mean, I just danced about an hour with you…."

"Yeah, okay, but I mean like, serious ballroom dancing? You know how many guys our age can still do that? 2 out of ten. A wild guess."

Ryan grinned, "My father had me sign up for dance classes when I was like… 13 or so. He thought every man had to learn it. That it's part of a good education…"

"Well, it is!" She nodded. "Great your father knows."

Ryan ordered another glass of water and looked around a bit, "Isn't that Marian?"

Nicole followed his gaze, "Yes, that's him. Apparently he knows about the healing powers of dancing too."

Ryan nodded, but he could see that Marian still looked as sad as he did in the morning when he was at HQ.

Now Marian had noticed them and walked over in their direction. "Mr Wolfe, Ms Ferguson. How are you?"

Nicole gave him her best smile, "We're fine, thanks. How about you?"

Marian shrugged, "Trying to forget. Dancing has always been my therapy."

Ryan nodded, "I'm starting to understand why…" He sighed when Lady Gaga's _Just dance_ hammered out of the speakers. "She knows too, obviously."

Marian nodded and held his hand out for Ryan, "Would you like to dance?"

Ryan was tempted to dance again, but then he said, "Actually, I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, you're related to the case and…"

"Oh, Ryan, don't be so correct…."

Ryan glanced at Nicole, "I'm sure it says somewhere in the protocol that we can't…"

Nicole shook her head and turned back to Marian, "He's still trying to loosen up a bit. But we can dance, if you'd like to. I don't give a damn about protocol."

Marian smiled, "Sure." He made a little bow and held his hand out for Nicole now. "Mylady?"

"Sire." Nicole laughed and let Marian guide her to the dance floor.

The bartender leaned over the counter, "You just lost your date to a fag."

Ryan turned around, "Well, first of all, she's not my date. And second, I don't really like your vocab, so you might wanna think about a more appropriate term for our homosexual brothers…" Before the bartender could say any other word, Ryan turned back to the dance floor, watching how Marian and Nicole danced. And it was really worth watching. They both had a feeling for the music, both knew how to move. It was a pleasure to look at them. They danced three other songs, then they came back, Nicole exhausted but still willing for more.

"Come on, Ryan, your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yeah. You had a rest, now we can dance again."

"Don't you need a rest?" Ryan grinned.

"Nope, I'm feeling great." She smiled.

Marian nudged her, "If he doesn't want, why don't we continue?"

Nicole looked at Ryan, "You're okay with that?"

"Sure. I like watching you dancing. You should participate at _Dancing with the stars_."

Nicole smiled, "You're so sweet." She gave him a kiss to the cheek and dragged Marian back on the dance floor when Alesha Dixon's _The Body does nothing_ started.

----

They only left when the club closed in the early morning hours. By then, Ryan felt his whole body aching. _That last dance was a bit too much…_ Ricky Martin's _Livin' la vida loca. _He had danced the last two hours with Nicole, without a break, and now he felt that his body was not really back to its old strength again. But he didn't really care. When he, Nicole and Marian walked to their car, he knew it had been worth it. He hadn't once thought of that fatal day two weeks ago. He had enjoyed himself and he had enjoyed the company of Nicole and Marian. Even if every single muscle would hurt later, he decided the great time he had had was worth a bit of pain.

Back at their car, Nicole asked Marian, "Shall we drop you off somewhere?" Neither Ryan nor Nicole had had any drop of alcohol.

But Marian shook his head, "I live just around the corner. Thanks for offering though." He then turned to Ryan, "I hope you're not offended? That I asked you for a dance?"

Ryan shook his head, "Don't worry. It's just that I have already kind of a shaky reputation at work, and if anybody had seen me dancing with a witness, there would be all kinds of rumours…"

"You mean, if you dance with a male witness?" Marian said.

Ryan blushed, "Maybe, yeah…."

"Don't worry." Now Marian smiled, "At least you do treat me like a human being." He turned to Nicole. "It was a real pleasure dancing with you. I hope we can do this some time again?"

"Sure. When the case is over, call me, and we'll hit every club in Miami."

"Great." Marian shook her hand. "You get home well. And good luck catching Steven's killer." As he said this, the sadness in his eyes came back. "He would have loved dancing with you too."

"I'm sure I would have loved dancing with him…" Nicole gave Marian a short hug. "Take care. I promise we'll find him."

"Thank you. Good bye." He waved at Ryan and then walked away.

Ryan watched him leaving. "Poor kid. Let's hope he'll be alright…."

"He's a fighter, I think." Nicole yawned. "Now I feel very tired. Let's go home, I want to cuddle to my cats."

---

When they arrived at Nicole's flat, Ryan walked her up to the door. "Thank you, Nicole. I had a fantastic time."

"Me too." She smiled. "I hope you forgot a little bit about… well, you know."

"I didn't think of it the whole evening…" He smiled back. "You sleep well."

"I will." She handed him over his car keys which he had left at her flat. "You get home well and try to have some sleep too."

"I try. Good night."

"Nighty." She closed the door.

---

Ryan walked over to his car. As he sat in it, started it and drove around the corner, he noticed something was wrong. And he knew exactly what. "Oh, no…" A flat tyre. He was about to open the door when he noticed he was trembling. "Oh come on…" But it was all too familiar. The flat tyre… It had started with a flat tyre and ended with him being thrown on the street, that event two weeks ago. And now, he was standing here with a flat tyre again. _They wouldn't try the same thing twice…_ But he decided to not try his luck. He picked up his cell phone and called Nicole.

She picked up immediately, "Something's wrong?"

"I don't know. I have a flat tyre."

"Where are you?"

"Just around the corner."

"I'll be right there…"

----

And she was there, not even a minute later. With Frankie. The dog sniffed around the car, but he didn't find anything. Nicole, hand on her gun, checked the tyre. "I think it's okay. You can get out…"

Ryan did, blushing. "Sorry…"

But Nicole shook her head, "Don't worry. I understand your fear…" She then took a closer look at the tyre. "Yeah, it's flat."

"Just great…. Nothing better then changing a tyre at this time of the morning…"

But Nicole shook her head. "Come on, you're not gonna change it now. You can crash at my place. We'll have breakfast when we get up, then we look at the diary."

Ryan was reluctant. "I don't think that's a good idea. If people find out, there gonna talk… and you know my 'shaky reputation'."

"Oh, fuck your reputation. Sorry, bad vocab. Come on. I don't want you to sit here in the almost dark trying to change a tyre." She gave him a look that did not allow any negotiation.

Ryan sighed, "Okay, okay. To be honest, changing a tyre in the middle of the night is not really what I want… Thanks."

"Anytime."

----

Half an hour later, Ryan lay on Nicole's couch, a pillow under his head and a comfy blanket to cuddle into. He closed his eyes, trying to find some sleep. His body was exhausted from dancing, his mind was exhausted from not having had decent sleep in the last weeks, but he just wouldn't fall asleep tonight. And he knew why. The flat tyre. He knew it could as well have been an accident. It could be that his tyre had just been too old, or he drove over some glass shreds…. But still, it had made him cringe with fear at some point, now that he thought back of it. Okay, the Russian that had tortured him was dead now. But he knew Ivan Sarnoff had enough people, and that he would probably find someone else that would take over the job of the deceased. Okay, they probably wouldn't have tried the same trick twice, but you never know… If he was honest, hadn't Nicole been there, he would have called Horatio. Just because he was too afraid to get out of the car. He shook his head and cuddled into the pillow. He had to change something. Maybe he should get some help…. He was absorbed in his thoughts when suddenly something landed on his stomach. Ryan was just about to scream out when he heard a soft purring. It was one of the cats. He raised his hand and caressed the cats head, noticing it was The Blackadder. "Hey there. Can't sleep? Me neither. I just noticed how much alike we are, you and me. Nobody loved you so far, right? Same here. And how did you loose your eye and your ear? Got tortured by a Russian cat? You know, I was close once to loosing my eye too. I got shot with a nail. Nobody really cared though. At least you have someone that cares about you now. Nicole will sure give you a nice life. I wish I had a Nicole in my life too. But well…" He sighed, "If only you could talk. Not only could we certainly share some stories, but I guess you have seen the guy who threw the body in the dumpster." The cat only purred. "Yeah I know. I should sleep now. You sleep too, okay? Nobody will harm you here. Nighty." The last thing he felt before he finally fell asleep was the cat trying to find a good position to sleep on his chest.

* * *

**Isn't that just too cute?**


	10. The load never too much

Ok, it took me a bit longer for this and I don't think it's good, but well... I hope you like it better than me....

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Nicole and her little zoo. The title from this chapter is from the song "Knock you down" by Keri Hilson, Ne-Yo and Kanye West. Don't own that one either. **

**Warning: **Mentions of violence and child abuse.

* * *

**Chapter 10: ****The load never too much, she helpin' me pull it **

"_Each time you refuse, we take something…." The pain was unbearable now. Every bone in Ryan's body ached. He was sure his ribs were broken. Oh God, how it hurt… And his face… He never had to hide his face. His father had always taken good care to not bruise his face. Ryan knew now that it was because he never wanted anybody to know what he did to Ryan, even though he never really felt he did something wrong. But Ryan had been so thankful for it. If there had been one thing he hated, it had been pity. And he hated to be humiliated. While he hated it at home, he could still hide it from the rest of the world. If ever his father had left visible marks on his face, he wouldn't have been able to hide it anymore. People would know, people would talk, people would find out more…. And at some point, the whole city would know that Duke Wolfe beat his son, and that his son wasn't able to defend himself. He remembered when he had to stay at the airport, after having been thrown out. When everybody had looked at him. Everybody had wondered why there was a kid__, all alone, dressed in a blood splattered shirt. And he knew, if the Russian would let him go, of which he wasn't so sure right now, he would have to go through the same experience again, if they didn't drop him in front of his flat. He would have to walk, people would look at his shirt and see that he had been beaten up. That again he hadn't been able to defend himself…. Now the Russian came back with the pliers. Ryan's eyes widened in fear, "No…no… STOP!!!"_

"Ryan? Ryan, wake up! It's just a nightmare, come on, all you have to do is open your eyes." Nicole stood next to the sofa, pondering about whether to touch him or not. "Ryan, please wake up. Come on…"

"No…. please…. Stop…. Don't…"

Nicole shook her head and then proceeded to lay a hand on Ryan's shoulder, trying to shake him awake gently. "It's a nightmare, Ryan. Come on, wake up…."

Ryan somehow, in his half awake status, felt the touch on his shoulder and awoke with a start. He couldn't see anything, but when he realized he was not bound to a chair, and that the person standing next to him was way too small to be his Russian captor, he relaxed again. "Nicole? Sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay, Ryan, don't worry." Nicole sat down on the couch next to him. "You need something?"

Ryan shook his head, "I don't think you have a time machine, do you?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't… Was it the Russian again?" Ryan only nodded. Nicole moved closer to him and held his head to her shoulder.

He softly pushed her away, "Sorry Nicole, but…" Yeah, what but? Why didn't he want her so close to him now, after having had some very close moments with her, earlier on the dance floor? "I don't…"

"I'm not gonna hurt you." she said.

Ryan nodded, "I know…" He shook his head. "Go back to sleep. Please. I'll be alright."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing… it's just that…. Oh, I don't know." He sighed, "I'm sorry."

Nicole got up. "Okay. If you need me, you know where to find me…. Sleep well."

Ryan watched her leave, but before she left the living room, he said, "You know how I ended up here in Miami?"

She turned around, "No."

"My father threw me out because I wanted to be a cop. He wanted me to be a soldier. Trained me to be a soldier when I started walking. He wanted me to be strong. And every time something like this…" he pointed at his face, "….happens, I feel I'm not strong enough to live up to his expectations. Every time something like this happens, I feel… weak. Because I was told a real man wouldn't break. And now look at me. This is why I don't let you so close. I don't want to feel weaker than I do already…."

"I don't see a broken man."

"Oh come on…"

"No, Ryan, you come on." Nicole sat down on the floor and looked up at him so she could see right into his eyes. "I see a man that has some trouble getting over what happened to him, which is the most normal thing in the world. If this didn't trouble you, I would doubt you were a human being. But look at it from my point of view. I know what has happened to you, though I'm sure I don't know everything. And I see you, going to work everyday. I see you trying to work with people that are too superficial to even try to understand you. I cannot possibly imagine how hard all this must be for you, but still, you manage. Other peoplein your situation would be scared, would not dare to go on the street in case something would happen to them again. And not only do you go out on the street, you also catch bad people. Our murderer could target us any minute because we're getting too close to him, but that doesn't bother you, you still trying to get him. Other people would be too afraid to mess with this guy, but you're not. And that shows one hell of mental and physical strength. Okay, you might feel broken, but I can assure you, I see you're not. You need time."

Ryan chuckled, "That sounds all very convincing, and I can guess that it looks like I'm pretty well on the outside…" He lowered his head, "But then again, I'm used to it."

"Used to what?"

"Pretend I'm okay. I've been doing it ever since I was thirteen. No one really knows who I am, although the team got a very good image of what happened to me when my father came here a few months ago… You haven't met him, have you?"

"No. I was back in England when he was here and your uncle and mom went missing and stuff. Why do you ask?"

"Nobody told you anything?"

"Not really, no. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most popular kid in the lab." She grinned a bit, but stopped when she noticed Ryan was dead serious. "Is there something I should know?"

"Not really, no. I mean, it wouldn't change a thing, really. My father disowned me when I was sixteen because I wouldn't do what he wanted me to. And since then, I've always tried to put on a brave face, because I didn't want to let anybody see that I am not as strong as I appear. I never let anyone help me, I always try to do things alone, just because I want to convince myself that I'm not weak. And you know how often that has gotten me into trouble. So, my conclusion is that I'm not good enough to handle stuff on my own which will result in the fact that my father will never really think I'm strong enough to live up to his expectations even though I saved his brother and his wife. Not to mention the fact that the bit of self confidence I've managed to build over the years has been beaten out of me by a henchman of the Russian mafia, and now I'm sitting here, trying to recover when I can't even sleep. And you say I'm not broken?"

Nicole had listened to this long speech without taking her eyes off from Ryan. Now she looked at him and said, "Yes."

"Oh come on…"

"No, you come on." She sighed, "Okay, I gotta admit that sometimes trying to handle things alone is not the right way. But come on. Okay, you messed up sometimes. But think of all the times you didn't. Your first solo case, for instance. I heard from Maxie what happened back then, when you saved that little baby. That was good."

"Yeah, that was one time…."

"So what? We're human. We make mistakes. My _Facebook_ horoscope tells me at least once a week that _'a man who rarely makes mistakes rarely does anything'._ Or something like this. _Errare humanum est_. Do you know how many times I made mistakes that could have cost me my job or my life? Or both? I haven't learned a bit from it. Just a few hours ago I was dancing with someone involved in my case.. Ryan, we're all humans, and sometimes things happen that we wish would not have happened. But that's life. The important thing is that we still know what's right and what's wrong."

"Do I know that? I mean, back with Michael Lipton, I knew the right thing to do was to tell Horatio. And with Billy here, I knew the right thing to do was not to do what the Russians wanted me to do, but to immediately go and tell Horatio. But I didn't." Ryan shrugged. "Because I cannot ask for help without feeling ashamed. You know I didn't ask you for help. I was just glad you were there. And I'm glad you're there now."

"What difference do I make, then? Why can you tell me what you can't tell others?"

Ryan thought about this for a minute, "I guess it's because you don't judge me. And you never did. Because you accepted me from Day One. Because you're one of the few people on this job with passion. Because you helped me without thinking once how this could end for you. And because you're not afraid of telling the truth." And then he added, "Because you're so different from the rest of that team."

Now, Nicole grinned, "I know that's a compliment. All of that. And you know why I don't judge you? Because you're one of those that always do the right kind of wrong. I mean, everytime you did something wrong, it was to protect others." Now she smiled shyly, "You know, I've rarely met someone who thinks so much more about others than about himself like you. When I met you, you know, the first day you joined the lab, I thought it would be kinda cool if we become friends. I noticed from the beginning on you were special, and over those last years, I knew I was right, and I always thought it was a shame we never got really close friends, like Maxie and me for example…" She checked her watch. "We should go back to sleep now. You're feeling better?"

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, a bit. Thanks for listening, Nicole."

"Anytime…" She left the room.

Ryan watched her leaving and sighed. He saw the Blackadder curled up in the corner on a pillow. "You're one happy kitty, aren't you" Then he cuddled back into his pillow and closed his eyes. A minute later he was asleep.

---

It was early afternoon when Ryan woke up again due to a strange feeing in his face. It took him a while to realize it was the Blackadder's paw, rested on his cheek. Apparently, the cat had come back later in the night and was now sleeping soundly. Ryan sighed deeply; then he looked outside. The sun was standing high on the sky.

"How late is it?" The cat immediately raised its head and looked at Ryan. "Yes, I know you don't know. But it must be late. And where's Nicole?"

"Kitchen. And FYI, it's 2 PM. You want some coffee?" It was of course not the cat that answered, but Nicole herself.

Ryan turned his head to her and looked at her. She was sitting at the kitchen table, dressed still in her oversized pyjamas, her hair in a bun, glasses on, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He smiled, "When did you get up?"

"About four hours ago, when Frankie needed the ladies. Walked her around the block, got my Sunday Sun and got back in."

"In that outfit?"

She laughed, "I know this is Miami, but I still don't need to dress up and put make up on to walk my dog." Then she asked, "Did you sleep well?"

Ryan rubbed his eyes, causing the cat to his and jump to the floor. "Sorry, mate. Yeah, I slept really good, thanks for asking… I swear I didn't hear you or the dog getting up." He felt really rested. "Wow, this must be the first time in weeks…" He got up and walked over to the table, "Maybe I should move in together with other people. Seems company calms me down… or maybe it's because finally I got to talk a bit about it…"

"Have you thought of seeing a shrink?"

Ryan sighed, "I have yes, but well… I've spent enough time on a couch, I think…. You know, OCD and stuff…." He poured himself a cup of coffee and asked, "So, what are our plans for today?"

"Lunch, diary… the usual stuff…. And answering your mobile…"

The mobile had just started ringing. Ryan sighed, "It's my day off, for god's sake." But he picked up nevertheless. "Wolfe? Natalia… yes… she's here…. Probably has switched it off….. I see…. You're sure? We'll be there. Bye." He hung up and sighed again, "Have a guess."

"Our guy?"

"Yes. He stroke again. Not far from where we were yesterday evening."

Nicole turned pale as death within a second. "Don't tell me it's Marian…"

* * *

Well, at least the chapter was a bit longer.... But how about Marian? Is it him?


	11. Ring the alarm

**And here's my new chapter. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, it means so much to me. I hope you'll like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Nicole, her pets and the victims.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Ring the alarm….**

Nicole and Ryan were at their crime scene in the blink of an eye. Ryan hadn't even parked Nicole's Merc properly when she already jumped out and raced towards Natalia who was waiting in front of a house just around the corner of the club where they had been to last night. "Tell me, who's the victim? Who is it?"

"Hello, Nicole, I'm glad to see you too. The victim is Joshua Goldstein. Parents…"

"Oh, thank God…" Nicole said.

Natalia frowned, "I'm sorry?"

"No, Nat, it's okay… Yeah, Joshua Goldstein. Parents…?"

"Parents called it in just about half an hour ago. They got home from a holiday today and were greeted with the image of a body with no head lying in their living room. They could ID the body only because of a tattoo… Bet they'll never forget that image…"

Ryan nodded, "And we're sure it's our guy?"

Natalia nodded, "I guess so, yeah. Victim is naked and missing his genitals. And his head… I already took DNA samples of the parents to be sure it's really him. I found white fibres under his fingernails. They're already on their way to Trace. Travers said he'd call immediately. You wanna come in and have a look?"

Ryan nodded again, but Nicole shook her head, "I want to make a phone call first…" She looked at Ryan, "I don't want Marian to hear it from anybody else…"

"Sure…. I'll go in and take at the body, and then we'll check what the parents have to say…"

---

Since the body had not much to say to Ryan, except for what Natalia had already pointed out, he released the body and proceeded to question the parents, together with Nicole. Christine Goldstein, the mother, was a tall woman with long hair and big eyes filled with tears. Ethan Goldstein was tall too, but right now, he seemed broken, as he sat on the couch, cigarette in his hand.

Ryan started, "Mr and Ms Goldstein, I wanna cut this short. I'm really sorry for your loss. Now I understand you were out of the country until this morning?"

Christine Goldstein nodded, "Yes…. We we're in Ireland for two weeks. Joshua didn't want to go, so we allowed him to stay here. After all, he was such a responsible kid; we knew we could trust him…"

"I see…. Is there anybody who would want to harm Joshua?"

"We can't think of anybody… unless somebody who hates our people…"

"You mean Jewish people?" Ryan asked.

Ethan Goldstein answered, "You would be surprised at how many people still hate us, because of all those old prejudices…"

Nicole, who hadn't said something before now asked, "There might be another reason for people to hate your son…"

Now Christine Goldstein raised her head, "You mean because he was homosexual?"

"You knew it?"

"Of course. Joshua never had anything to fear from us. Yes, we were shocked when he came out. After all, everybody wants to have grand children. But it didn't take us long to recover. Joshua was the best son on earth, and we'd rather have he loved men and find the love of his life than to be unhappy forever, just because he couldn't be what he was…"

Nicole gave the mother a warm smile, "I wish everybody was like you. I'm sure Joshua was really happy to experience such love… but we need to tell you that apparently there is someone out in Miami killing young homosexual men… and all of our victims so far were friends… Do you know Cody Smith and Steven O'Shanahan?"

Now the father bristled with anger, "Oh yes, we know them both. Very nice young men. But Cody's father is an idiot. You know Cody came here a few years ago, after his father had beaten the living crap out of him? I almost went there and teach the guy a lesson. I hate it when somebody hurts their own children, but to hurt them because of that reason is low. But Cody told me not to. He… wait a second…. He's not dead, is he?"

"He is. He and Steven O'Shanahan. And they were killed by the same guy that killed Joshua…" Ryan said.

"So, the murderer is not Cody's father?" Goldstein asked.

"No, that's not likely… Is there anybody you know of that would want to harm your son or his friends? If Joshua was so open with you, he might have mentioned a name…."

Both parents shook their head, and Christine Goldstein said, "I would remember that. If there was anybody, he never mentioned it to us…." Some tears fell on her cheek. "Will you catch him? Joshua's other friends are lovely guys. I don't want anybody of them to be hurt…."

Nicole got up, "We will. We already promised Marian Allan we would. We will."

"Take care of Marian." Ethan Goldstein murmured. "He already has been through enough hardships…"

"He has?" Now Ryan was curious.

Christine Goldstein sighed, "His mother died from cancer a few years ago. His father is a good man, but too busy to really care for the kid. Always on business trips… Marian had to grow up very early to support his mother. He witnessed her slowly dying, but he never lost that smile of his… and now that Steven is dead…"

"Don't worry, Ms Goldstein. We'll take care that this guy doesn't get Marian. Or any other of your son's friends for that matter. And we'll get him…" Nicole handed her card over, "If anything happens, please let us know. Or if you remember something. Anything. If you need help…"

"Sure…." Ethan Goldstein nodded. "Good luck, Mr Wolfe and Ms Ferguson."

"Thank you…"

----

As soon as they were out of the house, Nicole started dialling a number on her cell phone, "Marian didn't pick up earlier… I know it's early and we had a long night out, but…"

Ryan took the cell out of her hand, "We'll drive to his house. You have his address?"

"Yes, but…."

"Believe me… sometimes it's better to just go and look than to just try to get hold of somebody on the phone…"

Nicole looked at him, "You wish I'd come looking for you? Back when… you know? How should I…"

"No, Nicole, not you. Delko. Or Calleigh. Or Horatio. Anybody from the team…."

"I am part of the team. Somehow."

Ryan nodded, but he smiled, "Yes. And you did what you could. You know, Eric, Cal or so, they could have used GPS to track down the Hummer, to track down my phone, anything. You couldn't. You did what you could. And I really appreciate it. And now, let's go and check on Marian."

----

They got out of the car in front of Marian's house. Both walked over to the door, absorbed in some casual chatting over Nicole's horrible taste in music (Ryan just had to endure Rihanna all the way from their crime scene), when suddenly Ryan touched Nicole's shoulder and motioned to the door. It was half open, and they could see blood drops leading away from the door into the house. Nicole closed her eyes for a second; then her hand moved towards her gun, unholstering it. Ryan did the same. They both looked at each other, counted to three, and then Ryan opened the door. Nicole followed him. They checked the entrance hall, but no one was there. Then Nicole touched Ryan's arm and pointed at her ear. Now Ryan heard it too. A soft sobbing, coming from the kitchen. The blood drops lead there, too. Nicole bit her lower lip, then slowly followed the blood drops. When she arrived at the door, she took a deep breath and then screamed, "MIAMI DADE POLICE!!!" It was followed by a scream from inside the kitchen, which was followed by even harder sobbing. Then Nicole said, "It's okay, Ryan, no one in here besides Marian." Ryan followed her into the kitchen. Nicole hadn't moved from the spot; Marian was sitting in a corner, curled into a ball, crying. In front of him was a parcel, ripped open. Ryan had to take a breath when he saw that the content of the parcel was a human head. From the looks of it, it was most likely Joshua Goldstein's missing head. Marian had closed his eyes, tears falling freely from them. Nicole looked at Ryan, "You think I can go over there?"

Ryan sighed, "I don't think so. This is a crime scene, and he's evidence. There's blood on his hands and clothes. Go over to the car, get me my kit and my camera. I'm going to take care of this." Nicole nodded and left. Ryan walked over to Marian, slowly, carefully avoiding the blood on the floor. He sat down next to Marian and said, "Marian, it's Ryan. Listen carefully: Are you hurt? I mean, physically?" Marian shook his head, "Good. Listen, I'm going to take samples from your hands and I'm going to need your clothes. Once I'm done, we're going to bring you to a hospital to get you checked. Everything's okay now. You're safe."

Now Marian opened his eyes and looked at Ryan, "Joshua…"

"We know. It's okay, you don't have to talk for now."

Nicole returned, kit and camera in her hands. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah I guess so. Thanks." He took the camera and started taking pictures from every angle. Then he opened his kit and took some Q-tips out. "Can you show me your hands, please?" Marian held his hands out; they were trembling. Ryan carefully took some swabs of the hands; then he said, "I'm going to need your clothes now. If you wish, I can go out until you're done…"

Marian shook his head and looked at Nicole, "Can you go out, please?"

Nicole nodded, "Sure. If you tell me where your room is, I can get you something else to wear."

"Upstairs. Thank you… I mean… I might be homosexual, but you're still attracted to men, so I feel more comfortable if he's around…." His voice was trembling.

Nicole gave him her warmest smile, "Don't apologize, sweetie." She left.

Marian waited until she was out of the room, then took his shirt off. Ryan tried to focus only on the shirt when he handed a plastic bag over to Marian, but he could not help but notice that Marian was rather skinny. He reminded him of himself when he was that age. Skinny and lanky. Then Marian took off his trousers and put them into another plastic bag. "Thank you…."

"What for?"

"For coming. How did you know…?"

Ryan shook his head when he closed the bags, "We didn't. We were at Joshua's house. Nicole wanted to call you and tell you, so that you don't hear it from anybody else. You didn't pick up. She was worried. We came over. It's was a sheer coincidence. Though I must admit Nicole has something like an intuition when it comes to people in trouble." He smiled a bit. Then he asked, "Who brought that parcel?"

"I thought it was an UPS guy, but of course I'm not sure anymore. It was addressed to me, so I took it and brought it here. I sat it down on the floor and wanted to get a cutter to open it when I noticed the blood on my hands and the trail leading from the door in here. So I just ripped it open. And then there was… Joshua…." Marian bit his lip. "I… I screamed. And sat down… It was terrible."

"Did you notice anything else? Like somebody who was watching?"

"No… but I was too focused on the head…. I mean, you don't have a head lying in your kitchen everyday, when the two people that live here are vegetarians…."

Ryan frowned, "Two? Where's the other one?"

"My dad. He's on a business trip. Won't be here before Friday next week."

"Ryan, I'm outside the kitchen and I have clothes for Marian, can you come and get them?" Nicole suddenly screamed.

Ryan grinned, got them, and gave Marian the time to get dressed, "It's okay, Nicole, you can come in now…"

Nicole got in and said, "I was able to hear the last part of the conversation. Marian, I don't think you should stay here all alone."

"I'll be alright…"

"No, Marian, I don't think so. This head's a message. Somebody wants to scare you. And I'm not gonna leave you alone in here. You're gonna move in with me."

Ryan looked at Nicole, "Nicole, do you really think that's a good idea? I mean, not because of protocol, but… we could get him into protective custody… we could have officers in front of the house 24/7…"

Nicole shook her head, "I don't trust officers. They seem to not notice abandoned CSI Hummers on a busy street. He's going to move in with me. Period. Marian, pack your bags."

Marian looked at her, "You really think that's necessary?"

"Yes, I do. This is not a coincidence. You might be the next."

Marian nodded, "Okay. Give me half an hour to get my stuff and explain to my dad."

"Go ahead."

When Marian had left, Ryan turned to Nicole, "I don't think that's a good idea. If somebody's after him, and he moves in with you, you're in danger too. You should get an officer for your door."

Nicole smiled, "I have a dog, and I have a gun, and a man is moving in with me. What can possibly happen?"

"Nicole, listen. I don't think…"

"Ryan. That's all really sweet. But I'll be alright. We'll be alright. Don't worry. Besides, our killer won't know where Marian is. We'll be safe."

Ryan sighed, but then he said, "Okay. But as soon as you notice something weird, you call 911. Don't go out alone. Remember, there's not only our killer out, but also some Russians. And I don't want them to do to you what they did to me…" He had not noticed that he had used almost the same words his Russian captor had used when threatening him to hurt Billy.

But Nicole gave him a smile, "You're sweet. I promise I'll call 911 when something unusual happens. Pinky Promise. And for the Russians. Let them come. A tooth for a tooth… And I say hello from you…"

Ryan smiled back, "Maybe I should move in with you too…"

"You just want to join the fun…."

"Of course…." He grinned.

* * *

**So a guy moves in with Nicole. What will happen? Is the killer going to find out where Marian is? Will Nicole get the chance for "a tooth for a tooth"? And what is Travers going to say? And how will Ryan sleep the next night? **


	12. Blow this house house down

**And back again with a new chapter. It's not as long as I thought it would be, but oh well... I hope you like it nevertheless.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI Miami and all its people. The title is taken from Rihanna's song Breakin Dishes (can be found on Good Girl gone bad). I don't own song or lyrics, they belong to the fantastic Rihanna.  
**

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**Chapter 12****: Blow this house house down……**

It was late evening when Ryan got home. Nicole had taken the rest of the day off, pretending to be ill so that she could stay with Marian. Ryan had spent his day with Natalia in the lab, analyzing what they had found. Tara had confirmed that Joshua Goldstein had died of the beheading, and that the killer was no pro when it came to dismember people. That didn't rule out any of their suspects, but it was at least something. Travers in the meantime had confirmed that the fibres that Natalia had found under Joshua's nails were identical to those found at their other victims. Ryan had told Travers the truth, why Nicole was not at HQ anymore, mainly because Travers was really worried. Travers had only grinned and said that this was typically Nicole, taking in stray cats and complete strangers. Later on, Ryan and Natalia had tried to put everything together, but they didn't have anything real, except for the fibres, and nothing to compare them to. Ryan had also finally had the time to talk to Jack Hannigan, the guy that had been reported by Cody. But he had an alibi; he had been at a concert while Joshua had been killed, and out of the country for the two other murders. It had been frustrating, but at least they had again ruled out a suspect. Which meant they didn't have any suspects left. Which meant that right now, all they could do was to wait. Wait until the killer made a mistake.

----

When Ryan sat down on his couch with his Chinese takeout, he finally found the time to relax. At least physically. His mind was racing though. He could not believe that their killer had stroke three times without making any mistake. He was sure the guy that had delivered the package to Marian was either the killer himself, or somebody else, but not a UPS driver. Natalia had called UPS, but they didn't have any delivery to Marian in their books for that morning. Ryan had told Nicole, who had told Marian, who had provided a very accurate description of the man. Especially one detail was important. The man was about 24 years old, and had a scar, going from his left ear down to the throat. Ryan had checked the database, but no man with such a scar was in the computer. But it was at least something to go on. Ryan didn't even notice what he was eating. Where were the genitals? What had happened to them? And why the threat to Marian? What was so special about Marian? He was just one of all those guys, so why threatening him? He hoped Nicole would find out something. She and Marian were probably sitting in front of TV, eating something only Jamie Oliver could cook. He sighed; he would have loved to join them. He remembered the night before. Nicole had helped. She had listened. She had been the only one looking for him when he went missing. She hadn't given up on him. She had been there when he needed her. And this last night, when she had tried to hug him, he had pushed her away, because he still couldn't let all his walls down. This had to stop. He had to stop pushing people away. He had to stop all this self pity. He had to get his life back. He would see a shrink. It would be hard, for somebody like him who always handled stuff alone to bother somebody with his problems, but it was the only way. He would work it out. He would be okay again, like he had been okay so many times before. He got up, put the remains of his take out into the fridge and went to bed.

---

He woke up at 3 A.M. but not from a nightmare. He hadn't dreamed at all. He had slept in peace. Until he had woken up. Sirens. Fire Rescue. He got up, sighing. _Just great. I finally manage to sleep and now some stupid sirens wake me up…_ He walked over to the window and looked out of it. He could see the bright shine of a fire from here. It was almost in Little Havana. And then, something happened. Later on, Ryan wouldn't be able to say what made him do what he did. Nicole had called it male intuition. Anyways, he suddenly grabbed his keys, put on some trousers and the first shirt he could get, and left his flat in a hurry. Not even looking back to check if the door was locked, he raced towards the car, jumped in, started it and drove over to Little Havana.

---

He just drove around the corner when he saw it. Nicole's flat was burning. Fire Rescue had almost gained control over the fire. He parked the car as close as he could, flashed his badge to anybody in his way and asked the first fireman he saw, "I'm CSI Wolfe. What happened?"

The fireman frowned, "They called you already?"

"No, I just came by. What happened?"

"We don't know yet. We're just trying to get control over the fire."

"Are there… any victims?"

"Not as far as we know. There was an officer living there. She evacuated everybody. Really good work."

"Where is the officer?" Ryan almost screamed.

"Sitting in the ambulance. Doctors are checking on her right now…"

Ryan had already raced over to the ambulance, and there she was. Sitting there, a blanket around her shoulders, her face dirty from ashes. Ryan stopped only when he was in front of her, "Nicole, are you alright?"

Nicole turned her face to him, "Ryan? How did you do that?"

"I heard the sirens… and then I was in my car, and then I was here. What happened?"

"Molotov Cocktail. At least I guess so. Something flew through my window. Luckily I heard the glass shattering. I immediately got up, woke up all the people in the house and called 911. And now, I'm sitting here, and watch my life just turn to ashes…."

"But you're okay?"

She nodded a bit, "Yeah… At least physically…." A soft meowing was heard. Ryan now noticed that Kate Moss was sitting in Nicole's lap.

Then he noticed several people were absent. "Where's Marian? Frankie? And the cats?"

Nicole smiled, "The Black Adder and Lord Byron are hiding under the Merc. You can see their eyes. And Marian is sitting in a patrol car, guarded by two cops and a big Rottweiler. We're all okay."

Ryan nodded, "Good. You called someone already?"

"Natalia is on her way, as well as Tripp…"

"You didn't call our nightshift?"

"Nope. I mean, come on. This isn't a coincidence. This is part of is either part of our case, or it's our Russian friends. I wanted our team on the case."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Well, you were most probably sleeping."

"And Natalia and Tripp weren't?"

"Yes." Nicole looked back at her flat, indicating that for her at least the conversation was over.

It would have been over anyways, because suddenly, somebody rushed at Nicole and screamed, "Do you always have to do this?????" It was Valera. She first hugged Nicole, then shook her, "Do you have any idea how you just scared me? 'Maxie, a Molotov cocktail flew threw my window, my flat is burning, can I sleep at your place?' Do you have any idea…?"

"Maxie, I asked you if I can sleep at your place, so that obviously means I'm okay…" Nicole said calmly. "No need to worry!"

"No need to worry?" Valera stopped shaking Nicole and run her fingers through her hair. "You could have died in there!"

"I know, I know. So, can I sleep at your place? With the dog, cats and Marian?"

Valera took a deep breath and said, "Of course you can. All of you. I'm so happy you're alright." She hugged Nicole again.

"Of course I am. A Molotov cocktail is not nearly enough to get rid of Nicole Ferguson…" Nicole murmured as she watched her flat burn.

----

The next morning, Ryan sat down opposite Nicole in the interrogation room. Nicole grinned, "That feels quite different, sitting on the opposite side of the table…"

"Don't worry, soon you can sit at my side again…" Ryan smiled, "How are you?"

"I'm okay… bit down of course. But physically, I'm fine."

"Good. So, tell me what happened. Again, please."

Nicole sighed, "Marian and I went to bed quite early. He slept on the couch, me in the bed. And suddenly, glass shattered, and my living room was in flames. You know how funny that is, it takes you only a second to wake up in that situation when normally it takes so long…. Anyways, I immediately jumped out of my bed. Marian was already awake too and had opened the door so that the cats and Frankie could get out. I knocked on everybody's door, told them to get out immediately. Luckily enough they listened to me. Marian had called 911 in the meantime, so fire rescue was there pretty fast. I got the rest of the people out, and then I sat down and watched."

"Okay… so I guess you cannot tell me anything more… Anything strange, for example?"

"Nope. I'm sorry, but I didn't hear or see anything. I also checked the people that watched. None of them matched the description Marian gave us. You know, the UPS driver…."

"I see. Good idea though. Delko and Natalia are at your flat. Natalia is checking the flat, trying to find out if it really was a Molotov Cocktail; Eric is checking for tyre tracks and stuff. You think you can stay at Valera's place for a bit longer?"

"Sure. We actually think of moving in together…." She grinned. "The terrible two, finally united."

Ryan grinned too, "That's gonna be fun…" He got up. "Okay, I'm going to talk to Marian next. How is he?"

Nicole sighed, "Well, shocked of course. He thinks they just did this because he was staying."

"You doubt that?"

Nicole shrugged, "Molotov Cocktail? Sounds pretty Russian, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah…."

"And you know they're after us…."

"Yes… but still, that quite much of a coincidence. I think it was our killer."

"But that would imply he knew Marian was staying at my place… Marian told nobody, I told nobody, you told nobody."

Ryan scratched his head, "That means somebody was listening… when we decided he'll stay at your place…" He shrugged, "I'll leave it to Natalia to interview Marian when she comes back. I'm going back to his house and look for anything that could indicate we had a listener…"

"I'll come with you." Nicole got up too.

Ryan frowned, "Don't you want to take the day off?"

"And do what? I cannot get into my flat to see what is left because Delko and Nat are there. I cannot get into Maxie's flat because I don't have a spare key yet. I don't wanna sit in my car all day long, waiting for something to happen. Ryan, I'm okay. This is my case too."

Ryan sighed, "I guess I cannot talk that idea out of your head, can I?"

"Nope. So, let's not waste any time."

"Okay, but if you start coughing, I'll bring you to ER, and you know that Alexx will be there…."

* * *

**Will they find something? God only knows....**


	13. Step by step

And again a new chapter. This one isn't very good, but it's just for filling. We'll have some action pretty soon, pinky promise.

**I don't own anything, only Nicole, Marian and some other people. CSI Miami is NOT mine**

* * *

**Chapter 13****: Step by step**

„… and besides, you never know if the killer doesn't come back to Marian's house, so you need a cop to cover your back, and since Tripp is nowhere to be found…"

"Nicole! It's okay, you have convinced me." Ryan sat in the car, rolling his eyes. He had only tried to tell Nicole it might be a better idea to go somewhere and relax after the attack, but since that moment, Nicole had given him like twenty good reasons why she absolutely HAD to join him. "I'm not gonna say anything anymore."

"Good." Nicole smiled and pushed a button on her radio. They had chosen to take the Mercedes instead of Ryan's Hummer. If the killer was anybody living in Marian's neighbourhood, the Merc would not be as eye-catching as the Hummer. The only bad thing about it was that Nicole was in charge of the music. Today's favourite was Beyoncé. And Nicole of course sang along.

So, Ryan was more than relieved when they finally got out of the car at Marian's place. "Exactly, what does that woman want to say when she sings _To the left, to the left…_?" (1)

"It's where the exit is. Didn't you listen to the lyrics?"

"Not really. I mean, come on… _I can get another you in a minute, matter of fact he'll be here in a minute_? (1) Not really a nice thing to say…."

"But the truth." She stopped in front of the door. "So… we were standing in the kitchen when we discussed the plan. Where is the best place to listen when somebody is making plans in the kitchen?"

"I'd try the kitchen window…" Ryan grinned and walked around the house over to the kitchen window. "Guess what is in front of the kitchen window?"

"A footprint?"

"Better. A thorn bush…" Ryan knelt down next to the bush. "And I found fibres."

Nicole joined him, "White?"

He picked them up with his tweezers and showed them to Nicole, "Looks like it. I think that's a match."

"So, our killer was here when we discussed that Marian will stay at my place…."

"Indeed…" Ryan frowned. "What do you do when you see a Hummer in front of a house in your neighbourhood?"

"Go out and say hello to you?"

"Okay… let me put it different. What does the normal Miami citizen does?"

"They watch. From their windows."

"I'm sure somebody has seen us coming yesterday, and maybe has looked out of the window, and maybe has seen the killer lurking around."

Nicole sighed, "Normally I'd say you're right, but we didn't have the Hummer with us. We had my Merc. And it doesn't scream POLICE! at you…"

Ryan nodded, "You're right. But this is a calm neighbourhood. Not many strangers. And most of the people here are… well, elderly ladies and men. They look out of the window at every noise. And if they see a car they don't know… And we were both armed, and you're a hot young girl, and the men here are old and…"

"You're desperate, aren't you?" Nicole grinned. "Grasping at every straw you can get?"

Ryan had to grin too, "Yeah okay, but come on, you have to admit, it's possible."

"Yeah…. So, we knock on every door, and ask people what they have seen? The last time I've done that was when I was still on patrol. And I hated it."

"Yeah, me too… But I guess that's the only possibility we have."

Nicole sighed, "Great. I love my job. So, are we gonna do this together, or are we gonna split up?"

Ryan shrugged, "Together. As I said, many old men, they probably gonna love you…"

"Sure. If you want me to open some buttons on my blouse and show them what I've got, just nudge me…"

"That's the right attitude…"

----

Half an hour later, both were desperate. They hadn't found anything out so far, and still about what felt like a thousand more houses to go to. Ryan knocked on the next door.

An old man opened, "Hello?"

"Mr Seaver, my name is Ryan Wolfe, I'm from the Crime Lab, and this is Detective Nicole Ferguson. We'd like to ask you some questions…"

"What?" The man place a hand at his ear.

Ryan closed his eyes. _Not another one…._ Then he said a bit louder, "Sir, my name is RYAN WOLFE! I'm from the CRIME LAB! This is DETECTIVE FERGUSON! We'd like to ask you SOME QUESTIONS!"

"Are you police?"

_What did I do…?_"Yes Sir, we're POLICE!" Ryan showed the man his badge. "Can we COME IN?"

"Yes, yes… You know, when I was your age, I was also a fine young boy. I was in two wars, you know. How old do you think I am?"

Ryan started counting in his head; he knew a wrong answer could hurt the old man and he wouldn't be forthcoming at all if he had seen anything. Two wars… _Probably World War II and the Korean War. And we're 2009 now… So he was probably 18 in 1941... So, he might be 80 something now…._

But Nicole had reacted way faster, "Well, I'd say you're… probably…. 65?"

Seaver laughed, "Oh, you are a fine girl. I'm 89, young lady!"

Nicole's face showed surprise. "89? You're joking. Really? You don't look a day older than 65!"

"That is a lovely thing to say. My wife always said I act like a schoolboy. Do you want a cup of coffee? And a cookie?"

"Oh, I would love too…." Nicole gave the old man her warmest smile.

"Just sit down, you and your friend, I'll be right back." Seaver, with a pace that was really fast for a 89-year-old man, walked over to the kitchen.

Ryan and Nicole sat on the old couch, and Ryan asked, "65? You're one hell of a liar."

"And you're an idiot! You don't ever count! Just make a rough guess and take 10 years off."

"But come on, you couldn't seriously think he was 75, then?"

"That doesn't count! Point is, he likes me, and I didn't even have to open a button." Nicole grinned.

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Still, you're a terrible person."

Seaver came back with two cups of coffee and a plate with chocolate chips cookies. "My wife made them. They're delicious." He sat down. "What does police want here? I never did a wrong thing in my life. I was in two wars, you know…"

"Don't worry, Mr Seaver, we're not here because of you?"

"Did my wife steal some lipstick again? She's a bit distracted sometimes…"

But Nicole didn't let him finish, "Don't worry, Mr Seaver, it's got nothing to do with either you or your wife. We won't bother good citizens of Miami because of a lipstick. We're actually looking for witnesses. Do you know Mr Allan and his son? Marian?"

"Oh yes, sure. Fine people. Marian does the gardening for us. We're old, you know, and our bodies cannot do the hard work anymore. Marian is a very nice young boy… although a bit strange sometimes…"

"What do you mean?"

Mr Seaver sighed, "He's hanging around with men a lot, though he should be with girls. When I was his age, I was already married. When I got back from war. Or was it before war? I don't remember. But otherwise, Marian is a really nice kid. Really polite, always helping people… You know, the youth nowadays is really ill mannered. Always spitting on the streets, and this loud music… But, you were asking…. Yes, I know the family. Why?"

"Have you seen anything unusual yesterday morning? Like a UPS driver or somebody lurking around there?" Ryan asked.

"I wasn't there yesterday morning. But I'll ask my wife." He turned to the kitchen, "Mary? Police is here. They have a few questions!"

Mary, an elderly lady got out, "Is this about the lipstick again?"

"No, no… They're here because something happened at the Allan's." her husband said.

Mary sat down on the couch. "What happened?"

"Nothing bad, we're just looking for witnesses." Ryan said. "You husband told us you were here yesterday morning, so we ask you, have you seen anything unusual?"

She thought about it, "Not really, no. I saw a UPS driver, delivering a parcel to Marian. Then I saw you." She pointed at Nicole. "You were here with a guy. Might have been him." She pointed at Ryan. "You were in the house. And then, about an hour later, you left, and this huge car came… A Hummer. With two people." Delko and Natalia.

"Nothing else? Like somebody hiding in the bushes?" Ryan asked.

"No, sorry, I didn't see anyone there…"

Nicole and Ryan looked at each other, then Ryan got up, "Okay, thank you. That's it already. We'll find the way out."

"But you haven't eaten all of your cookies!" said Mr Seaver.

Nicole gave him a smile, "Thanks, but we'll have lunch soon. But they were delicious, thank you very much…."

Seaver blinked at her, "You know, if your friend here doesn't want to, I have a nice son. He might be a bit older than you…"

Nicole's smile didn't freeze, "That's lovely, but I have a girlfriend already…"

Seaver took a step backwards, "Okay… well, I hope you find out what you want to know. We need to prepare lunch now, too. Have a nice day, officers." He didn't even bring them to the door.

When Nicole and Ryan were out of the house, Ryan asked, "You know she's lying?"

"Of course. She saw the UPS driver, she saw us, she saw the Hummer, and yet she's telling us she didn't see the guy in the bushes. You think it was her husband? You've seen his reaction when I told him I had a girlfriend."

"Yeah okay, but I mean, an old man?"

"He was in war, so he must know about stuff like Molotov Cocktails. He doesn't like gay people. He has contact with Marian, so he might know his friends…. It adds up."

"Yeah, it sounds convincing enough for me. But I don't think any judge will give us a warrant on those grounds. Not even when we tell him Mrs Seaver likes to steal lipsticks" Ryan scratched his head. "We need more…. Well, we need something."

"What's the next step?"

"You think you can do this alone? Asking the neighbours? I want to go back to the lab and compare the fibres."

"Sure. I give you a lift, then we have lunch, and then I come back."

---

That was the plan, and they followed it. In the late afternoon, right before shift's end, Nicole came back. "Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Nobody has seen our guy."

Ryan grinned, "I'm sorry you have nothing. But I have something."

"The fibres?"

"Are a 100% match. Travers has confirmed it. And he misses you by the way. But that wasn't what I meant."

"Then tell me."

"I was sitting in the break room with my coffee, going over our case, when a patrol officer I haven't met in a long time came in too. We were talking a bit, and I told him about our case. And about the UPS driver. With the scar, you know. I told him what Marian has told us, and he gave us a name. Nathan Brown."

"Doesn't ring a bell. Was he arrested at some point, or why does our patrol cop know him?"

"Nope, on the contrary. He was a victim. My patrol friend was the first officer on the scene. Brown was attacked by some druggy and ended up with that scar."

"Great. Let's go visit him."

"I don't think it's that easy. You know how it is with victims. I have already called a judge, he'll check into it, ask my friend about it, and then decide if we get a warrant. You remember how it was back with Valera a few years ago, when she put that DNA of the rape victim into CODIS?"

"Yes, I do. But come on, he might be the killer, or at least know the killer…. Where does he live?" When Ryan gave her the address, she grinned, "I think I'll take Marian for a little ride. If he recognizes this guy's face, we're good, aren't we?"

"Yes, I guess so…."

"Great. We'll be back soon."

* * *

**It's been a long way, but it seems they finally have something. Or maybe not? Who is the mysterious guy with the scar, and what's his part in this play? Stay tuned for Chapter 14**

**(1) Beyoncé - Irreplaceable. **

**I don't own music or lyrics  
**


	14. It’s time to start the countdown

Wow, three chapters in 3 days, I'm getting really good at this... Thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far, I hope you still like this story, even though nobody has reviewed on the last chapter which made me really sad. Just kidding.

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI Miami and its caracters. I do own Nicole Ferguson though, as well as any other person you've never seen on the show, be it dead or alive.**

**The chapter title is fro Pink's song _Funhouse_. I don't own music or lyrics. **

**Any lyrics used in this chapter (see at the end of the chapter) are not mine but belong to their respective authors.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 14****: It's time to start the countdown…**

It took Nicole only half an hour. Exactly 30 minutes later she was back at HQ, just when Ryan had planned to call it a day. "It's him."

Ryan frowned, "So, you saw him?"

"Yes."

"He came out of his house exactly in those 30 minutes? That's quite a coincidence, isn't it?" Ryan's voice sounded tense.

Nicole grinned, "You still believe in fairytales, don't you? Of course he didn't come out. Marian and I looked through his window. He was sitting in the kitchen, reading a newspaper and eating his dinner."

Ryan looked at her, "You were trespassing? Are you mental? What if he had seen you? Not only would that be the end of our case, but also of your career, and I don't even wanna imagine what would have happened if he had a gun."

"Cool your jets, lovey, he didn't see me." She grinned. "So, when are we gonna see him? I think we should now."

"Where is Marian?"

"At Maxie's. Don't worry, Frankie is with him. Marian is safe. So we can go and get us a fake UPS driver! Come on. Be spontaneous."

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Sometimes I wonder how poor Travers can handle this."

"To be honest, I think he only notices half of what I'm doing. Come on. I know where the guy lives."

---

They got out ten minutes later in front of Nathan Browns house. Ryan got out of the car, murmuring "_But I am never beaten, broken, not defeated…_(1) Oh, just great, see what you've have done to me? I'm singing along to the Pussycat Dolls!"

"So what? This is good lyrics. You should make that your motto." She grinned.

"Yes, why not, I'm sure taking PCD lyrics as my motto will make me a respected cop all over the city." He blinked, "What's yours, anyways? _When I grow up, I wanna be famous_? (2)"

She laughed, "Sounds like me, eh? No, mine is actually Christina Aguilera. _If you got soul let the world know_. (3) That's what I do. I try to be passionate about everything I do. Or why do you think I spend nights and nights thinking about a case when people always tell me I should leave work at work?"

"Because you have trouble finding sleep too?"

"Yeah, that too… So, are we gonna do this the nice way, or with our guns in hands?"

As an answer, Ryan rang the doorbell. The door opened a while later. A young man stood in front of them. A handsome man actually, if it hadn't been for the gruesome looking scar in his face. The guy had deep brown eyes and black hair. Now he looked at them. "Hello… Can I help you?"

"My name is Ryan Wolfe, this is Nicole Ferguson. We're from the MDPD. Are you Nathan Brown?"

"Yes… Come in, please." He opened the door and motioned them into his living room.

They sat on a couch, and Nicole started right away, "Mr Brown, we know that you posed as a UPS driver and delivered a parcel to Marian Allan yesterday. Why?"

Brown sighed, "I knew this would get me into trouble… I was doing somebody a favour."

"Whom?"

Brown shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you. I owe my life to this man."

Nicole nodded, "I understand. Did you know what was in the parcel?"

"No, I didn't."

Ryan took a picture out of the folder he was carrying. It showed Joshua's head in the parcel. "We thought you might wanna know."

The picture had an impact no one could have foreseen. As soon as Brown had it in his hands, he dropped it again, trembling. Then he jumped from the sofa and ran away, and seconds later they heard a door opening and the noise of somebody throwing up.

Ryan looked at Nicole, Nicole looked back. Ryan frowned, "Was that the wrong way?"

"It seems like it…"

"But you did the same to Cody's mom."

"I know… Come on, let's check on him." Nicole got up and walked to the bathroom. She leaned against the doorpost and said, "You know, I believe that you didn't know what was in that parcel. Which makes you nothing but a tool of the one who sent the parcel, which makes you kinda innocent, except for posing as a UPS driver, and I don't think they'll put you to jail for that… But of course, that only counts if you tell us who told you to do that. If you don't tell us, we can get you for accessory to murder. And that's quite a long jail sentence…"

Brown turned his head to her, tears in his eyes, "I can't… if I do, he'll kill me too."

"Why will he kill you?" Ryan asked.

"Because I've sinned… it was just one evening…. I really didn't… but he will kill me…"

"Because you've sinned…." Ryan thought about it, then he looked at Nicole.

She was still leaning against the door post, her eyes wide open with realisation. "Can it be…?"

"Well, why not? I mean, it's not like it's far fetched. He had contact to the group, he knew all the guys, and he probably has read the diary… and knew about Marian…"

"But a priest?"

Ryan nodded, "We'll go get us a warrant…" They turned on the heel and left the bathroom. Nicole called patrol to have them book Nathan Brown. She had barely hung up when her phone rang again, "Maxie? I'm on my way getting my killer… No. He might have gone out with Frankie. No, I brought him to your place…. Yeah, don't worry. I call him. I'm sure there's an explanation. Maybe he's at Joshua's parents. They were close friends… Don't worry, sweetheart. Bye bye." She dialled another number, "Marian isn't at home. I wonder what got into his head." She waited. "Voicemail." She looked at Ryan, "What does that mean?"

"I don't know… Call patrol. Tell them to go in front of O'Shanahan's house and meet me there. We drive back to HQ, I get my warrant. Then I drive to the house, and you go to Maxie's place, and try looking for Marian. I'm sure there's an explanation to it."

"Not sure I'm gonna like it, though. I tell you… O'Shanahan got him." Nicole shook her head and called patrol, while Ryan called a judge for a warrant. Inside the car, Nicole pushed a button on her radio, and a second later Al Hirt's _Green Hornet_ came out of the speakers.

Ryan grinned, "You're preparing for a car chase?"

"Who knows what will happen tonight…"

----

An hour later, Ryan and Natalia stood together with some patrols in front of O'Shanahan's house. They had knocked on the door, but nobody had opened. Ryan motioned to Natalia to cover his back, then he kicked the door open, "MIAMI DADE POLICE!!!" No one was there. Patrols checked the house, but it was clear. Natalia and Ryan put their guns back and started looking for clues.

Natalia found one immediately, "Ryan, look at this…" She had opened one of the wardrobes in the entrance hall, and in between coats and umbrellas, she had found a long tube. It was rusty, and there was blood on one end.

Ryan sighed, "So, it was really him… This is the tube he used to rape the guys. I bet this blood is a match to Cody and Steven… his own nephew…" He shook his head, "Can you imagine this?"

Natalia shook her head, but then she pointed at something else in the wardrobe. "Looks like he has worn this when he did it…" She pointed at a white piece of cloth. It had lots of blood on it. "His robes. So he was dressed in his robes when he killed them? That's sick."

"Yeah. And look at this one…" He pointed at another robe. "Look, it's torn here. I guess he was wearing this one when he was lurking in the bushes outside Marian's house…"

"Why did he keep them? Here, where we would have found them immediately? Some people are just dumb."

"Maybe he was planning on using them tonight…" Ryan said gloomily. "But where is he?"

Natalia scratched her head, "Well, it's almost time to say Mass. He might be in church…"

It was at that moment when Ryan's phone rang. It was Nicole, "Ryan, he's missing."

"Who, Marian? How do you know?"

"He must have gone out to walk Frankie. I just arrived at Maxie's place when Frankie came at me. She got a blow to her head, but she'll be alright. She had her leash on and everything. Somebody knocked her out. She guided me to where it happened, there's more blood, Delko tested it, and it's human. Somebody got Marian."

"And we know who…" He rapidly filled her in. "O'Shanahan's not here now; Natalia thinks he's at church…. Wait a sec, she found something else…" Natalia held up a shirt which she had found at the bottom in the wardrobe, well hidden in a corner. It had blood on it. Ryan frowned and asked, "Nicole, what was Marian wearing this morning?"

"A white shirt and jeans. I borrowed it from Travers, Marian's whole attire was in my flat, and we couldn't get in… Why do you ask?"

When Natalia found the jeans, Ryan said, "Okay, it's definitely O'Shanahan who got him. We found his clothes. Tell Travers he might not get them back soon…"

"I'll see you at the church in ten minutes." She hung up.

Ryan shook his head, "Now she's going the rush to the church and probably point a gun at him and tell him to really mean it when he prays the Confiteor the next time because it might be his last prayer ever…" He turned to Natalia, "Can you call Delko or Calleigh and tell them to come over and help you?"

"Sure… You're going to the church?"

"Yes. Me, and a SWAT team…"

* * *

The Pussycat Dolls – Hush Hush

The Pussycat Dolls – When I grow up

Christina Aguilera – Back in the day

* * *

**Will Ryan find Marian alive, or will he be dead by the time Ryan and the SWAT team get to church? And what about O'Shanahan? And about Nicole? And of course, what about Ryan? Will they all make it out alive? Answer in the next chapter**


	15. If they could love like you and me

I couldn't leave you people for too long with a cliffhanger, so I decided to post this chapter as fast as possible. So there you go. Thanks for all your reviews, I hope this here lives up to your expectations.

**Disclaimer: As usual, nothing related to CSI is mine. Nicole and Marian are mine though.**

**The title of this chapter is from Nickleback's "If everyone cared". I don't own music or lyrics.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 15****: If they could love like you and me imagine what the world could be **

When Ryan arrived at the church, people were just getting out of it. Apparently Mass was over. Ryan decided to wait until people were gone before looking for Nicole. He nodded at the people going, "Hey. Hello. God bless you.", but his mind was far away from all them. Until he saw the Seavers. That explained something to him. They probably had seen the priest, but didn't want to accuse a man of God. He shook his head; some people were just too dumb… He waited until the last one had gotten out, then he took out is gun and hid in front of the door. He wished he knew where Nicole was. He closed his eyes and listened. It took him a while before he finally heard something. But what he heard was enough to make him wish the SWAT team was already here. But they had had an incident at the other end of the city, and it would take them almost 20 minutes to get ready and get here.

O'Shanahan was just saying, "All those people… and so many have no idea that they are so close to hell. But oh well. At least I'm going to help this world to become a better place."

"By killing all us homosexuals? You gotta be kidding me." Marian. He sounded beaten somehow, but not yet broken. Not broken, not defeated. "So what, you're trying to do? Killing us all off?"

"I'm not killing people off, Marian. I clean them from their sins. I punish them for their sins, but then they'll be cleaned when the get to Heaven's gate."

"Like you did with Steven?"

"I should have known Steven would be a sinner. His mother already was. I should have never done that. I deserved being punished too…. And I will."

"So, Steven really was your son?" Marian said.

"Yes, of course… But I paid for my sin. Having a homosexual son… But I accepted it and took it as my duty to bring him back on the right way."

"And kill him? You're mental…" Marian's voice sounded somehow weak now. He was probably injured. Ryan knew he had to act fast. He couldn't wait for the SWAT team. Who knew what was wrong with Marian… "You're trying to do the same thing that you did back in history with the witches, right? Kill them all?"

"Witches… we didn't kill them. We just killed their bodies. And this is what I do, too. I kill your bodies and thereby clean your souls. Don't worry, God will receive you. It won't hurt. And I will follow you. I just have some other business to take care of after you're gone."

"Kill the others, you mean? You won't get them. The CSI is so close to get you…"

"Yes, I know. But you know… I don't fear them. This girl, she will die too. She's a sinner too. She's just like you. She defends you. Tries to hide you from me. But… you can't hide, Marian. God is guiding me… And her friend… well… he can be saved. But salvation can only come through suffering…."

"Well, if that's the case, you're saved already, my dear." a voice close to Ryan whispered.

Ryan turned around. It was Nicole, smiling at him. "Where were you? I was worried." he whispered back.

"I got into a traffic control. Can you imagine that?"

"Not really, no… But we have to do something. It will take SWAT almost 20 minutes to get here. And he's just having his final monologue in there, telling Marian he'll be saved only through death…"

"So, Marian is in there?"

"Yes. And if I may add, I think he's hurt…"

Nicole frowned, then took a mirror out of her pocket. "Lemme see…" She used the mirror to look around the corner.

Ryan grinned, "Have you read Detective stories when you were a kid?"

"Yes. Huge Enid Blyton Fan. Fatty was my favourite… (1) Okay, this looks bad. Marian is naked. Which actually looks damn fine. Shame he's into men…."

"Nicole…"

"Yeah, sorry, a girl can dream, right… Okay, he's naked… and bound to one of the benches. Hands on his back. And he's bleeding. From his nose and lip."

"Where's O'Shanahan?"

"At the altar. About 3 to 5 meters away from Marian."

"Armed?"

"No… Yes…. A bottle… with a cloth…"

"Oh crap… Is he trying to...?"

"Burn the church down… He wouldn't! Why would he?"

"Cleaning the soul and stuff. He burnt all his victims, except for Joshua…"

"And why the whole church?"

"I have no idea…. But we have to do something…" Ryan took his gun. "On the count of three. One…. Two…."

"Three!" Nicole walked into the church and pointed her gun at O'Shanahan, "O'Shanahan! Put that bottle back on the altar very slowly and put your hands in the air!"

O'Shanahan turned to Nicole, but kept the bottle in his hand, "Ah, we have company… What was your name again? Ferguson, right… You'd better put that gun down or I blow the whole building up."

"O'Shanahan, if I were you, I would not. SWAT will be here any minute. You cannot get out." Ryan said, his gun also pointing at O'Shanahan. "Put that bottle down."

Nicole put her gun back into its holster. "You take care of him, right?"

"Sure…" Ryan didn't let O'Shanahan out of his eye when Nicole walked over to Marian and started loosening the ropes that bound him. "I said put that bottle down, O'Shanahan."

"Shut up. You can't prevent this from happen…"

"I can, and I'm doing it, O'Shanahan. Now put that bottle down, or I have to shoot you." Ryan didn't actually plan on shooting him.

"You can't shoot me. I am a man of God, and God will protect me. If you shoot me, you'll burn in hell forever…"

"Yeah, right…" Ryan shook his head. "I guess God will understand me. I guess he sitting up there, looking at you and thinking, 'Oh gosh, why do my men always misunderstand me.' Because I'm sure God wouldn't want people to kill other people just because they don't love what society wants them to love…"

"You have no idea…" But then O'Shanahan slowly put the bottle down.

Ryan let out a breath and looked over to Nicole for just a split second, trying to find out what took her so long to loosen the ropes. But that was the biggest mistake he could make. In exactly that split second, O'Shanahan took one of the candles that were still standing on the altar and set the cloth in the bottle on fire. But he didn't throw it at him, as Ryan had expected, but he threw it at Nicole and Marian. It exploded only a few meters away from them and immediately set the wooden benches on fire. Ryan only heard two screams and wanted to run over to help them.

But then he heard Nicole screaming, "Ryan, we're okay, go get him!"

"You're sure?"

"Yes, just go!"

"Okay…"

Ryan turned around and followed O'Shanahan who was escaping towards the back of the building. Ryan ran after him, his gun still in his hands. He didn't know whether to shoot or not. He could, but something stopped him. He wanted answers. Better answers than this stupid crap about saving souls and stuff. He wanted serious answers on why O'Shanahan hated homosexuals. He wanted answers on why Marian seemed to be his most important target and why O'Shanahan had been ready to burn down the whole church to kill Marian. And he would get them. So he didn't shoot, but only ran after O'Shanahan as the priest made his way to the stairs that led up to the church tower. Ryan heard a voice in the back of his head saying that he should be careful, that this tower would lead up high, and that he didn't like heights, but he just followed the priest. He would not let escape a criminal just because he was afraid of heights. No way. So he ran up the stairs, spiral staircases, and tried to not think of how high he would be over the ground when he would be at the top of the tower. When he finally reached it, he tried his best to not look down. But he felt his legs already trembling, not only from the fear, but also from the effort of running all those stairs.

O'Shanahan stood in front of him, "What do you want? Why don't you just let me finish the task God has given me? I'm making the world a better place!"

"Why all this hate?" Ryan had his gun pointed at O'Shanahan. The fire in the church had now spread, and he knew time was ticking away. Soon the whole church would be on fire, and they would have no possibility to escape anymore. He just hoped Nicole and Marian had gotten out and that Nicole had called fire rescue. "What did they do that they deserved to die?"

"They were sinners! God has not planned for men to love men, or for women to love women." O'Shanahan's voice had now turned into screaming, and Ryan somehow had the impression that the priest had left the world of sane people. "Men should love women, and women men. Anything else is an abnormality, a perverted lifestyle that needs to be stopped. And I will stop it!"

"Why Marian? What is so special about him?"

"He did this to my son! He made him homosexual!"

"How did you find out Steven was homosexual?"

"One of my most faithful lamb lives opposite Marian. He saw them kissing. And he told me." Seaver. "I had to do something. I had to do something before Marian would turn the whole city into a bunch of nasty perverts! But Marian is dead by now, I guess. And so is your friend. She, who defended this atrocity. All dead. And God will save me a place next to his seat."

"You're mental!" Ryan shook his head. "There is nothing perverted about homosexuality. And you say God hadn't planned for men to love men and women to love women? God planned on people to love each other, I don't think he really cares about who loves whom. But I guess he won't be too thrilled that you killed so many of his creation. He'll prolly send you to hell. But don't worry; it can't be much different from here…" The heat was now really getting to him, not to mention that he felt as if the tower was moving. His mind told him that this was just his imagination and fear that told him so, but his heart was beating at the same pace as when he was in the Russian's hands.

But his last sentences had moved something in O'Shanahan. Apparently the man couldn't handle the sheer thought of going to hell. Fury was on his face when he said, "You bastard. You're not better than the others. I should have killed you when I had the chance to! But don't worry, I will do it now…." His hand reached behind him. Ryan had noticed that there were several tubes leaning on the wall; probably of the same type O'Shanahan had used to rape his victims. Now, O'Shanahan held the tube in both hands and ran towards Ryan. Ryan thought for a split second of shooting him, but his hand was now trembling too much. It had been too much for him, those last weeks. The height was making him mad. And in the moment where he needed it most, his hand refused its service. But there was something else now in him. Adrenaline. The same he had felt when he had shot the guy who had try to kill his mother. And when O'Shanahan raised the tube and aimed at his head, Ryan was faster. He stopped the tube in mid-motion, and tried to wrestle it out of the priest's hands. They fought, until Ryan managed kick O'Shanahan in the stomach and thereby throw him against the stony border of the tower. And then, the unthinkable happened. Apparently, the tubes had been there to steady the tower's stone borders. Ryan had noticed that at some places, stones had already been broken. Maybe they were planning on reinforce them, using the tubes. But apparently they hadn't yet started on that task, because, when O'Shanahan hit the border, the stone he had hit gave in under the priest's weight, and O'Shanahan fell over the edge. He tried to get a grip, but it was useless. Ryan only heard a dumb noise when the body hit the grass down in the churchyard. And a scream. Marian. So Marian had gotten out. Get out… Damn, he had to get out…. He turned around and ran down the stairs. And in mid way, he hit something.

"Ryan! Thank God! Oh thank God! I heard something falling down, and I heard Marian scream, I thought it was you!" Nicole… "Come on, we have to get out. The whole church is on fire." She grabbed his wrist and pulled him with her. It took them almost five minutes to get out.

Outside, Ryan could finally hear the sirens. "Fire rescue?"

"Yes. I called them. Are you alright?" Nicole looked at him, her eyes full of worry.

Ryan nodded, trembling, as he sat down on the grassy underground. "Yes… I think so… You too?"

"Yes… I'm okay… I'm sorry I wasn't there… I couldn't get the knots loose… from the ropes, you know…" He noticed she was trembling too. "What happened up there?"

Ryan had to smile, "Let's say… he went over the edge…"

Nicole looked at him for a few seconds, then she started laughing, "I could have told you that long before…"

"And Marian, is he alright?"

"Yeah, sure… besides of the broken nose, but, well, no one will notice the nose when he's naked anyways…"

"Nicole…"

"Yeah, sorry…" She smiled, "So, it's over?"

Ryan nodded, "It's over. We won. They're safe again…" _So, it was worth it…_ He heard the sirens of the ambulance approaching. "The SWAT team didn't come?"

"Nope. But then again, we did one hell of a good job without them, right?"

"Right." Ryan sighed, "I'm gonna need a day off…"

"Don't worry. When we get to hospital, all three of us, Alexx is gonna lock us up. If I were you, I wouldn't take my handcuffs with me. It might give her wrong ideas…"

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(1) Fatty belongs to Enid Blyton (The Five Find-Outers and Dog) . He's not mine.

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**I hope you liked this. I had some trouble writing it, because at some point, my English didn't feel good enough anymore. I hope nevertheless there is enough suspense for you all. There will be one more chapter, since some loose ends need some closure. Stay tuned. **


	16. Send your angels

Okay, friends, this is the last chapter to this story. It's short, but I guess for an epilogue just right. Anyways:

**I don't own CSI Miami or Ryan Wolfe or anything you recognize. I do own Nicole Ferguson and Marian, as well as anybody related to that case (except for the team)**

**The title of the epilogue is also taken from Christina Aguilera's _Mercy on me_, just like the title of that story. The song and lyrics belong to her. **

There you go, enjoy**...  
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**Epilogue****: Send your angels down to guide me through that door**

Ryan, Nicole and Marian were released from hospital two days later. All three of them didn't suffer any health problems from the fire. Marian's nose was indeed broken, but Alexx had told them it would heal without any complications. But both Ryan and Nicole had decided, after all the troubles in the last weeks, to finally take both a week off.

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One afternoon, both of them were lying on the beach, just relaxing. At least physically. But they hadn't forgotten about the case.

Ryan buried his toes in the warm sand and said, "Did you give the diary back to Marian?"

Nicole, almost asleep, answered, "Mhm… As soon as Natalia had found it. Surprisingly enough, the fire in my flat didn't harm it a bit. It only looks a bit beaten. But Marian was very happy. Now, he can take his time and finally grieve for Steven…" She sighed, "Marian has lost half of his friends. And still he's such a lovely guy. Not bitter, not depressed. One in a million."

"Indeed… you're going to meet again?"

"Sure. We'll meet the weekend. There's a Latino Dance evening in one of the clubs. Maxie and Natalia are coming along too. You wanna join us?"

"Sure, why not?" Ryan nodded. "Besides, I talked to Horatio, about the thing with Cody's father."

"What did he say?"

"He'll check into it. He thinks as well that he should be punished for beating up the kid. Apparently, it wasn't the only time. Tara went over the body again and also discovered some older injuries. That, and the testimony of Cody's friends should be enough to at least get something. Though I still feel kinda bad. They lost their son, and now we're trying to pin an old crime on the father…"

"I know… but it's still a crime. Don't you wanna take your shirt off? If we continue like this, your legs and face and arms will have a nice tan while the rest of your body will be as pale as ever…"

"Nah, I'm fine like this. Don't wanna get sunburnt…" He sighed: truth was, it was hot like hell, and he would have loved to take his shirt of and just go into the cool water a bit. But he just couldn't. Even after all this time together with Nicole, knowing she would never do or say anything that could hurt him, he still didn't feel like letting her in. So he just closed his eyes and said, "And you're going to move in with Valera?"

"Yep. We always wanted to move in together, but we were too lazy to make actual plans…." She smiled, "We're gonna have the fun of our lives. Getting up in the morning, smiling at each other, get ready for work, sync teeth brushing in front of the mirror, in the evening then sitting in the tub together with a glass of champagne, later than on the couch, watching a Charlie Sheen movie with a glass of red wine, and on the weekends, we take over the world."

Ryan couldn't help but laugh, "Isn't that the things you should be doing with Travers?"

"I would, but drinking red wine while watching some documentary on the different types of ashes isn't really romantic…"

"And with Valera it is romantic?"

"Well, we are watching Charlie Sheen… You know, when I tell Travers, 'Oh doesn't he look just so good in a uniform?', Travers wouldn't even notice I'm looking at another man but only think about the consistency of the mud Charlie is robbing through… Valera and I just look at it and drool."

"I can imagine, I mean. You drooled about a naked Marian. Is there any man you don't drool as soon as he takes his shirt off?"

"Stetler." She laughed. "Well, and I wouldn't be too thrilled about Tripp either…. I know some people I know think he has sex appeal, but then again… he's not really…. And a tad too old for me."

"You say he's too old, and then you fancy Charlie Sheen…" Ryan wanted to add something more, but he was interrupted when Nicole threw and handful of sand at him. "Did you just throw sand at me?"

"You want some more?"

"Oh, wait…" He grabbed a handful of sand, but Nicole had already jumped up and run towards the sea. "Yeah, you can run but you cannot hide!" He didn't follow her, but just waited. She would come back; after all, she had her stuff here. He watched her swimming a bit and smiled. Her company, that aura of carelessness would do him good. Tomorrow, he would go see a shrink. He would get his life back; face the demons of his past and learn to handle the memories of his childhood and the encounter with the Russians. He knew it would be hard, but it had to be done, and he wouldn't run away from it any longer. He knew he had the strength. And if the team wouldn't stop hating him for what he had done, well, let them. He knew he had done the right thing. And he knew that, if the team would never get back together, he at least had found a friend he could count on. If she didn't drown now…

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**The End. I hope you liked that story, I would really appreciate if any of my silent readers could leave a final review.**

**A new story is already planned, but I don't know when I'll have it up. But it won't be long. Anyways,thanks to everybody who has read and reviewed, it means so much to me. You're fantastic. Peace and love, yours fergie.  
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